First TV series

As a part of my journal process to a better me, a better mental health and a better grasp on my anxiety disorder I cannot just write about what makes me tick. Simply because it could lead to me going in circles only thinking about what my anxiety is, what it does to my life and never getting out of this dark gloomy circle. So what better topic than to write about the first TV series that I watched from start to finish.


If that little gif doesn’t tell you about the first show I watched from start to finish….well then you might not have ever seen the show Charmed. It came out in 98-99 I believe. I happened on it by chance. I was actually a few episode late but I watched reruns. I was sick one day and my mom was tired from working a late shift so she told me to lay on the couch and watch TV. If I felt too sick, to wake her. But when she went to take a nap, I didn’t have a fever anymore and I wasn’t puking in awhile. So, I got to spend my day sipping soup and fluids watching TV. If you’re a kid, you know that kiddy cartoons are only on for so long. Since I couldn’t find any cartoons that I hadn’t seen more than once or that could keep my attention, I decided to start channel surfing. Which I actually have a really bad habit of because I was never a fan of commercials.

Then I happened on this show. It was strange, it was different. It was GIRL POWER. It had me hooked from the very beginning. I mean what little girl doesn’t love a show where the girl is the badass and the guy is usually the damsel in distress. I loved it and Leo. I loved the Piper and Leo love story and how they were destined to be together, no matter what destiny threw at them. And I always wanted to find my Leo……spoiler alert… I did.

I remember waiting for the episodes all the time. I couldn’t be bothered. And if for some reason I didn’t get to see it, I watched the reruns. or found some other way to find it. I actually didn’t mind when Prue left and Paige came in. I mean Prue’s death and the way it hit Piper really hit me hard and made me cry. Charmed was the first show that made me cry. Like bawl my eyes out for a fictional character death.

Well then in the later seasons, the future kids came into play. Who didn’t have a crush on the Future Chris and Future Wyatt.


Yeah I was your typical teenage girl with a crush on Drew Fuller and Wes Ramsey. This show was everything I could ever ask for in a show. And I hated when it ended. So I desperately wanted the DVD set. So that I could watch it whenever I wanted. But I could only find the first season at a cheap price. So I watched it on TNT in the mornings when  I could. Then Netflix came about and they had all the seasons on there. I remember when I first got a Netflix account….it was the first thing that I watched. Over and Over and Over.


So what is the first show that you watched….start to finish? Do you still watch it? What made you like it so much?

For a reason

Now days, most people has a Netflix account. well I love it.

With the hundreds of things to watch, my husband jokes about how I watch the same things over and over. But there is a reason for it.

For example, I have watched Gilmore Girls at least 5 times all the way thru in the past 2 years. Why? Well, there is nothing scary in any episode. Even the car crash Rory gets in isn’t even all that bad…she fractures her wrist. i can go to sleep watching Gilmore Girls and nothing I hear in my sleep will affect my dreams.

A little back note… I am that type of person who has to go to sleep with the TV on. I cannot do the silence and darkness. It used to be a nightlight and a CD. But now I just put on Netflix and go to bed. The TV cuts off on its own when the Netflix asks that ‘are you still watching’

But watching the same thing over and over….as long as its something you like can be beneficial to your anxiety. I read it somewhere. Probably on facebook. I don’t know.

There is just something therapeutic about knowing what’s going to happen next. Life gets chaotic and having anxiety makes the chaos worse. Having anxiety, the fear of not knowing whats going to happen next is like driving with a blindfold. So watching something where you know how it ends or what happens every minute can give you a sense of calm.

There is also the fact that if I start a new show…I go on a binge. I lose sleep. I don’t want to pause it and then there are some things that just creep into my sleep. Like Sons of Anarchy. I love the show…but cannot watch it before bed. I dream about biker gangs and violence and all sorts of stuff.

I have actually found an article about this so here you go. And let me know what you think about it.

Watching your favorite movies over and over is actually good for you

RAW October 16, 2017 Review

As with most of the WWE shows, we start off with a recap of what happened the week before. Because us fans are that stupid that we forget within one week of what has happened.

So Kurt comes out… and gets interrupted by………THE SHIELD


Not only are they back but they came thru the crowd wearing their vest…. Also, Ambrose got a hair cut. It feels like it was 3 years ago. I cannot believe it has been that long since they broke up in the first place.


On a completely related, but not related note. I hope that the fans keep their hands to themselves. Reigns has stated that fans get handsy and touch places that shouldn’t be touched since he is not consenting. So FANS no touchy!!!

Elias is out in the middle of the ring with Anderson and Gallows. Unfortunately, they’re singing. #IDontWalkWithElias. I really don’t. The whole singing segment only worked with Cena and Rock. It doesn’t work for them. The Bald headed babies (Stolen from my mom) tried to sing too. Not cool.


Luckily for all the fans, Apollo Crews, Titus O’Neil and Jason Jordan interrupted and cleared the ring. I feel like it has been so long since Titus wrestled, its weird to see him in his trunks again.


The match between Jordan, Titus and Apollo vs. Gallows, Anderson and Elias is okay. There’s nothing to spectacular that makes you go OMG. They can’t all be over the top matches. It ended just as fast as it began with Apollo pinning Anderson.


Asuka debuts Sunday at TLC against Emma. I am not quite sure why they have Emma do it. Unless she’s being pushed down to being a jobber. Which is quite possible. Because everyone knows they are going to push Asuka. They haven’t done a vignette for a superstar in a very long time so it has to be a sign that they are going to push her big time. 


Back stage segment with Alexa Bliss…. I am not a fan. I don’t know why. I am just not a fan. So now they’re going to have Alexa Bliss and Emma vs Mickie James and whoever she chooses.


Did Michael Cole really compare Emma to Enzo Amore? Uhm No. I like Enzo. And I know he’s that great of a wrestler and he talks to much. But did you ever think that you can get better at wrestling and they hired him for his talking skills? Well? I think he’s quite funny and entertaining.

Another video showing what we supposedly forgot about the week before…. Because we’re so dense that we forget what we watch in 6 or 7 days time. Only to have them come out, fight or talk about the same exact thing that we seen on the video. hmmm? Maybe I am just being too picky or too harsh. 

Does anyone really watch 205 live? I know I don’t. I spend my Tuesday nights watching Kevin Probably. I, however, do have to represent Cedric Alexander. He is from North Carolina 🙂 My home state. But like I said, they’re having another match with the same people after we just watched a video showing that they just wrestled. So what, is Jack going to win this time? I do like seeing Rich Swan tho. He is one of my favorite on 205 Live. At least he’s here to make sure that Jack doesn’t cheat and to even the odds. That’s nice of him.

So Alexander won again even tho Kendrick tried to cheat for Jack. Also, announcer. It was a singles competition…. Not a tag match. So when you announced that Cedric Alexander and Rich Swan won… you were wrong. Only Cedric will be in the books. Not Swan. He was just down there like any other manager. soo. :/

Unfortunately, we get to see MizTV. You know he’s doing his job well when so many people dislike him. Actually, I have never liked him. Even when he was on the Real World. I am just that picky of a person. I have been watching wrestling since I was a baby. I have always chose who I wanted and backed it up with what I felt. No one can tell you you’re wrong for feeling how you feel.


So Cesaro still has to wear a mouth guard creating a lisp because of Dean and Seth smashing his teeth further into his jaw. That’s both painful and annoying.  The You Look Stupid chants are back louder than ever over Sheamus mohawk. I don’t want to be mean because I had a speech impediment growing up. But Cesaro’s lisp sounds funny. The guest tonight on MizTv is Braun Strowman…. I honestly think he could use more mic training. I kind of just want to turn the channel. I am just mean tonight.

Hey Miz. They are not nostalgia if it’s just 3 years since they were together. The DX is nostalgia. Lex Luger and Sting as a tag team was nostalgic. Shield getting back together after just 3 years is not nostalgic. That was just a break. Thank you Kurt for telling Miz to shut up. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Miz talks too much.  Good job Kurt. So if Strowman wins tonight the PPV will be 5 vs 3 but if he loses tonight it will be 3 vs 3. Hahaha. I wonder what is going to happen.

I think Kurt is one of the smartest GM’s. Banning everyone not apart of the match’s from ringside. Smart. If not, there would be a lot of cheating from Miz’s side of things. As per usual.

This whole Bray Wyatt thing is stupid. Like Raw come one. You could have simply brought Nikki Cross up from NXT to play Abigail. It wouldn’t be the first time that the creative has made someone from NXT change characters. But of course Finn is going to give a Demonic message. He’s the Demon King. This whole thing between Balor and Wyatt is getting a little old. I think that Balor needs a bigger better push. Then again, I’m #BalorClub.


Oh wow. Alicia Fox is in another match. Shocker. she hasn’t been in many story lines since she was just the girlfriend on 205 Live. But I already see her losing to Sasha Banks. I liked her on Total Divas but her persona on Raw is too much. She sounds annoying.  Surprisingly enough Alicia got Sasha covered. However, it looked like the ref was counting slow. hmm? Alicia taps again. Two weeks in the row. She made an excuse for last weeks  tapping out. I wonder what tonight’s excuse is going to be?


So Fox attacks Sasha backstage right after Sasha calls her crazy.. I do have to say Alicia’s kicks are weak as crap. And pushing a ref? Oh Alicia Don’t you know that’s a fine.

Yay It’s Enzo. Dear creative team. Can you please allow him to have a better promo then the one time he had to read off insults to all of the 205 Roster? Cause those insults were weak and not his best work. By the way Corey Graves. Enzo has a lot of fans. he doesn’t need you. I enjoy Enzo Amore. However, I think it is amazing that Kalisto got his turn to be a champ. Enzo calling Kurt a corrupt GM yet he is the one who ran his mouth and got the match moved up from the PPV to last Monday and didn’t stop running his mouth so it got turned into a lumber jack match. So. Cry me a river. 


So Enzo got quite a few of the cruiserweights to attack Kalisto after talking about how he got money and it’s not dirty money…. So he paid them off? If Enzo removes Kalisto’s mask, I will lose all respect. You do not touch a luchador’s mask…ever. That is the biggest sign of disrespect there is. Thank goodness Mustafa Ali came out to help Kalisto. But that didn’t last long. We can definitely tell that that Enzo is a heel. There is no question about it. #HowYouDoin


Yay its Tag team action. I honestly hope that they let Dean and Seth keep their titles. I also think it is great that they changed Seths music awhile ago. The Burn it Down is different. Just what he needs to show he is a different person.  Poor Cesaro. Having to be reminded of his teeth being shoved 5mm into his gum.


It is so weird to see Seth and Dean wrestling in their old Shield gear. I mean it’s nice to see them back together. But I think I am going to miss Dean’s jeans and tank, being the crazy boy. I used to be a very big Cesaro fan. Even when he first got with Sheamus. However, I have slowly started to not. Just not. I don’t know. I haven’t even seen the Cesaro swing in so long. It’s kind of sad. I miss it. This is quite the interesting match.  They are two very strong, very capable tag teams. I wonder if the shield will get new gear. I mean since they are new shield and not the old shield. I mean they are back

I don’t know if it is me or if Dean isn’t as crazy as he usually is. It looks as if he’s second guessing things. Like not on full speed. The whole match looks like they’re not at their biggest potential. I don’t know. It feels like the match is full of missed potential. At least Dean and Seth are still the tag team champs. Thats the best thing.


Now it’s time for Finn Balor to cut his promo to Bray Wyatt and his so called Sister Abigail. I will say again. I think they would have done better by bringing someone from NXT up to be Sister Abigail. It would’ve been a better message if Finn came out as the Demon King. Just saying. Either way. I cannot wait to hear Finn talk. I love listening to his accent.


Well nice job production crew. Creating the new demon paint over fin’s face for the viewers at home. Even tho I am pretty sure the people there cannot see it. It’s nice for us. Just saying. I do, however, wish that they would end this Balor Wyatt feud. I have grown quite tired of it. We know he’s a demon and Wyatts a weirdo. but do you have to keep having the same feud over and over and over and over. I mean if you don’t have anyone new  for Balor to feud against, bring someone up from NXT. Just saying.


Twitter update: WWE posted that Alicia Fox was fined an undisclosed amount for pushing the ref. Well Duh. I thought everyone knew that you could not lay your hands on a ref. That’s common knowledge.

So now we’re going to have Emma and Alexa Bliss versus Mickie James and whoever she chose. By the way, I have grown very tired of Emma thinking she started the women’s revolution. I think not. Sit down sweetheart. I would laugh if she chose Asuka for her tag. But she’s not supposed to debut til Sunday so… Hmmm. She chose Bailey. This should be an interesting tag match.  With an interesting match with both sides holding their own, Mickie James covers Alexa Bliss for the 1…2….3… VICTORY.


Before commercial break we see Curtis Axel heading towards the Shield. Considering how loud he was huffing and puffing.. There is No way that the shield didn’t hear him coming.

Another backstage segment with Miz, the Bar and Strowman…. Kind of funny. Only Kind of.


So looking at Finn Balor’s new make up got me thinking… It looks like WCW’s Halloween Havoc. I mean they’re bringing back two WCW things already.

Miz screaming who did this when he was already told that he went looking for the Shield. I mean really?


It is time for the final match of the night. A steel cage match between Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns. Everyone is supposedly banned from the ring. Let’s see how well this actually works.

The Miz telling Renee young that Curtis Axel was never his 5th man just gives room for the rumors that the 5th man could be Samoa Joe.


So when Reigns comes out by himself, he comes down the ramp. However, when he comes out with the Shield he comes through the crowd. After hearing the interview that Reigns gave, I wouldn’t come down thru the crowd by myself either. Fans can be very grabby.  I bet Strowman isn’t mad that he’s still in a feud with Reigns. In an interview he gave, he couldn’t praise Reigns enough. He talked more about Reigns than he did himself.


Although everyone was banned from ringside the Miz decided to sit at the top of the ramp on commentary. Stating that we all need to hear his voice. I promise you we do not need to hear what you have to say.

So the Let’s go Cena/ Cena Sucks chants have now changed to Lets go Roman/ Roman sucks. interesting. Reigns needs the chants at the moment as Strowman throws him around like a rag doll. I think creative is going to let Strowman win so that Joe could have a reason to come back. The rumor has it that he’s coming back. Sheamus and Cesaro show up as Roman are climbing up the side of the cage. The Bar decide to climb up the cage towards Reigns when the remainder of the Shield decides to come out to help.


With all of this distraction going on, Strowman had the opportunity to get up and grab a hold of Roman suplexing him from the top of the cage. The HolyShit chants start. Because honestly that was pretty epic.

Unfortunately, the camera went off the main match and is following the other parts of the teams into the backstage area. Where is Kurt in all of this. He claimed that no one was to be at ringside and no one listened.  However, Miz did lock them outside.Might be the only good thing the Miz has ever done.

To be such a big guy, Strowman can really move. He climbs the side of the cage faster than I ever could.  It is kind of cool how the whole crowd does the OOOH AAAAH with Roman. But it does give the opponent the heads up to what’s coming. Roman only ever goes OOOOH AAAH when he’s going to do the arm thing.

Kane’s music….. really… That is interesting. Holy Shit. Kane is back. He’s coming for Reigns. He came thru the ring. It is extremely creepy when he does that. But I mean how is that possible? Like wouldn’t that be a soft spot for all the other matches? is it a trap door? How did we not catch up on it before? Did the people at the arena see Kane crawling under the ring during commercial break? So many questions run thru my head.  So if Kane’s back.. does that mean his campaign failed???


With the assist from Kane, Strowman won. And I was wrong. Joe isn’t the 5th member. It is Kane. Interesting. I thought Kane was going to retire soon.

Total Bellas October 11, 2017

Helga? Really Bryan? Burrito Joe? Wow they’re coming up with some awful names. It makes me feel better about settling on Birdie Joe

I wanna go to Mattel headquarters. Those dolls are completely adorable. I actually saw them at Toys R Us a couple of weeks ago. I thought about buying them for my daughter.  I don’t want Nikki to retire.

Vivian is completely adorable. Drinken? I don’t think that it is a word. Hey. Bryan got the 23 and me tests. I done that test myself. It was pretty awesome. I found out that I am mostly British and Irish. By the way Brie, Vikings are mostly Scandinavians.

JJ is hilarious. Getting followers is not very easy dude. I do think that they are a little harsh on JJ. But that’s what happens when you’re the little sibling.


John and Nikki are so dirty. They’re also completely adorable and funny. John makes some valued points about why Nikki should retire. However, my personal opinion is I need more Nikki. I am so proud of the Bella’s for the wine launch but it is so expensive.

I would lose that bet in a heartbeat. By the way JJ, post after post after post will not get you more followers. It will actually turn people off. Really JJ?  The water hair flip? That is actually a funny idea. JJ mimicking Nikki. I do not need to see JJ’s white butt and thighs. And he really pulled that up his butt. #BetterThanNikki…. I think not.

Bryan is seriously the slowest envelope opener ever. Hey Brie, You’re more British and Irish just like me. Jewish? I love how Brie says that they’re the typical Mutt. I think we’re all mutts.

I agree with Brie. It is very interesting when you find out what your DNA is. I loved getting my results back.  However, when Brie was braiding the bread, I thought that she over kneaded the dough when she was braiding it.

JJ got his chest waxed. Bryan was recording it, which is something that I would totally do. However, women get waxed all the time. Bikini waxes. I feel like JJ does not have a very good pain tolerance. With the sympathy labor he screamed and it looked like it took a lot of power not to scream with the wax.

Brie is totally on a path to exploring all of her heritage. However, it doesn’t seem like she is exploring Bryan’s heritage. Which is half of Birdies DNA.

JJ is at Smackdown live with Nikki. While she is taking apart of the segment JJ decides to  take advantage of the superstars. JJ is taking photos with WWE Superstars for his instagram challenge. It is funny that Johnny is there witnessing it all. This family is the cutest group of individuals I have ever seen on reality TV.

I agree with Lauren about JJ not doing this bet for a reason. He’s just doing it because it was a bet. JJ says that his family having opinions pisses him off. Well everyone has opinions. Literally everyone walking on this Earth has an opinion about something. If opinions pisses JJ off from his family, the ones he’s supposed to care about what they think, then does everyone piss him off?

I love how Nikki talks about what she thinks JJ should be doing for his wife. I feel that Nikki is just looking out for her brother and his family.

Finally, Brie is celebrating Bryan’s heritage. It is so cute. Brie and Bryan are relationship goals. They are too adorable. Bryan said that he wants Birdie to check other and write we are all one. That is too cute and a statement I feel we need right about now.

I had completely forgot about Breezy Bella. I do remember when Nikki speared Breezy and her head look like it was in the wrong place for a spear.


I love how John made her go get her neck looked at. He cares about herr so muh. I know there are some people who say that he is only with her for publicity or vice versa. But if you are a Bella fan, you totally know that they love each other.


The preview for next weeks Total Bella’s looks like it is going to be a sad one.  I will see you then.

Riverdale Season 2 Premiere. October 11, 2017

I have been waiting months for the second season of Riverdale to come on. I absolutely adore Jughead. I have watched Cole Sprouse since he was so little.



I love how Jughead narrates the series. Sprouse’s voice is so calming yet keeps you on your seats.  Archie driving his dad to the hospital while his dad is bleeding to death really pulls at the heartstrings.  No child should watch their parent get shot.  I really hope Fred pulls through  He really was a great father.

Fred dreams about Archie’s graduation, where he’s told he didn’t live to see his son graduate.  We are left wondering what is going on as the camera pulls back with Archie watching  as they work on his dad.

The next scene is Betty and her mom talking about Jughead and what they did or didn’t do after the jubilee. She receives the phone call from Archie about his dad.  Betty calls Veronica and Jughead.  They all race to the hospital to be with Archie.  Archie tells the story of what happened in the dinner, the end of season 1. Poor Archie is covered in blood. I absolutely adore Sprouse in this show.

After the commercial break, the cop comes to talk to Archie about what happened. Jughead tags along. Jughead asks what if it wasn’t a robbery, what if it was someone who had a grudge against Archie’s dad.

Archie tells Jughead away from the cops that maybe the Serpents are responsible since his dad had to fire them.  The doctor comes out and tells Archie that they were able to get the bullet out of his dad but he isn’t breathing on his own.

We are then transported back into Fred’s dream. Again, there is the luminous factor of Fred being dead but he doesn’t realize it. I wonder if this alludes to Fred actually dying. Would the writers have him be in a coma for a while? Or would they have him die by the end of the episode? Honestly, I hope he pulls through. He’s one of the good parents on the show.

It’s a good thing that Archie went home.  That poor dog probably needs some food or something. I agree with Veronica. Archie needs a shower, not cool being covered in blood. Gross. It’s cute how Veronica and Archie walk Vegas together.

Jughead calls the Serpents to the hospital so that he could ask them for a favor. He is asking that they find who shot Fred’s dad.

Archie finally takes a shower. We get to see his lovely abs. However, isn’t that a cast that he is wearing? I thought you weren’t supposed to get those wet.  Veronica is being very bold sneaking into the bathroom and shower to be with Archie. They haven’t been a couple all that long. Come on Veronica, you’re going to get in the shower with pearls on??? Archie still has blood on his hands.

Why is Cheryl in the hospital? What happened to Cheryl’s mom? I thought that her and her mother were outside the mansion as it burned? How did they she receive burns if she was outside?  Unless they’re trying to keep up the lie so that they can get the insurance money to build a new house.


How is Fred’s wallet missing? Who stole it? Archie is lashing out. It is understandable. But you should at least apologize. Veronica is trying to help. Veronica is exactly what he needs right now.

The sheriff got a line up pretty fast for Archie to check.  Poor Archie.  I am dearly hoping that Veronica’s parents didn’t have anything to do with the shooting.  I quite enjoy Jughead on a motorcycle.  I think I am going to get distracted by Jughead.

Veronica talks to her mother about them possibly putting a hit on Fred. Which is another plausible course. Archie finally gets to see his dad and is told to only talk about good things. We slip back into Fred’s dream world where him and Archie are back in pops. Archie is showing him a ring and telling him that he’s getting married. Pop shows up and Fred is starting to bleed again.

Jughead and Betty arrive at Pop’s and ask him about what he saw. The guy had shot Fred didn’t take a single dollar.  This only further assures Jughead’s belief that the shooting was a hit. I love how Pop asks if Betty and Jughead are hungry.  Betty says No thanks and Jughead says he’s always hungry. That was a nice moment in this massive dark season premiere.

Jughead reassures Betty that he isn’t a Serpent. However, I don’t think that she believe him very much. This is going to be an interesting season for this couple.

Cheryl is seriously sadistic. I would be terrified to be around her. Seriously. She cut the oxygen off from her own mother.

Archie feels like he was a coward. But I see it like if he would have tried anything, he could have been killed.  Kiss of Life? Cheryl is one strange character.  Archie walks into his dad’s room where he see Cheryl kissing his dads forehead. Cheryl says that Archie gave him the kiss of life at the lake and now she’s passing it on to Fred.

Another one of Fred’s dream worlds where the shooter makes an appearance. Before he can get shot, he wakes up to see Archie. At least he hasn’t died.  Yet. I have watched a lot of Doctor shows and I know something can go wrong and he could possibly die of post surgical complications. But hey, here’s hoping nothing happens.  I just thought about it. Maybe Cheryl was right about the kiss of life thing.

I still think that Bughead (Betty and Jughead) is the cutest thing ever.  The serpents worked really fast about trying to get some answers.  However, I think Jughead is getting in over his head.

We finally see Veronica’s dad. Why is her mom so afraid of her dad? Oh yeah that’s right. He has connections. On a completely different note.. If I drank my parents alcohol I would be dead.

I can relate with Archie quite a bit. With my anxiety I worry about someone breaking into my house again. There have been many nights I don’t sleep for this reason.

So the robber is killing the music teacher. Fabulous. What does the teacher and Fred have in common? I guess we will have to wait til next week.