Okay so I thought this squat challenge was going to be a good thing. I thought it was going to be fun. The video didn’t show exactly how much you feel it in your thighs.
And trying to find time to fit in 100 squats every single day when you’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off…. Is not very easy.
I am actually getting anxiety from needing to get all of the squats in.
But then I did the string test. As I said the other day. I cut strings to meet ends exactly around my thighs and around my behind.
So below you will see the end of the string. and then you’ll see the red mark which is where the other end of the string meets. It is progress. My thighs are showing more progress than my butt. However, it is still a small victory for me so I’ll take it.
Okay guys….so it is technically day 7 of my squat challenge. Which means I have been doing 100 squats every day since Valentines day.
Well… you remember how I said I didn’t feel anything…..
Well after a few days I really started to feel it. Not so much when I walk or sit. But I could feel a little bit of tension and pain when I would do my squats.
Now around day 2 or 3 I cut some string to match perfectly around my butt and thigh. What this means is that the ends of the strings touch exactly. No overlap.
Now since I don’t have a tape measure like they use in sewing, I only have the kind you would use to measure things with like the wall. I figured this would give me an accurate measure of progress.
And well… Day 2 or 3 the strings matched exactly… Day 7….there is a small overlap of string. Which means the measurements of my legs is starting to slim down.
I can’t tell you how excited that makes me. I know its like a couple centimeters and all. But it is progress. I haven’t been able to lose weight in a very long time. A VERY LONG TIME.
I have fat thighs. I have always had fat thighs. and having kids only made it worse. Toning down my thighs is a very difficult thing. My thighs are one of the many reasons why I have low self esteem. And low self esteem adds to the anxiety and stress. Going out in public, I have always worn pants and capri’s. Even swimming. I cannot wear anything short. My thighs look gross and fat and full of cellulite. This last summer I went swimming with my nephews quite a bit. I wore a tank top and yoga capri’s because I didn’t want to show to much or be flabbing around. I cannot wear a bikini top around my nephews. I just don’t feel comfortable showing that much boobs to these young boys. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way.
But I mean I am their aunt. they are getting older and I really just wouldn’t show that much boob around any young boy. Or at all. My brother (my nephews dad) Not the other brother that can be a punk. This brother always told me you dress the way you want to be treated. You carry yourself the way you want to be treated. If you go around dressing in sleazy clothes acting like you’re easy… Then that is how you are going to be treated. He didn’t mean it in a mean manner. Even though that is how most people take it. He meant it so that I could be safe. He didn’t want others to take advantage of me based upon what I wore or acted. He wanted me to be strong and confident.
What he didn’t know is that my anxiety… and my low self esteem… yeah it took this advice and turned it into. I’m fat and ugly and must cover up always.
i am getting way off topic.
The squat challenge is working…. it is a little painful. But it is working. I can’t wait to see the end results.. I am so impatient.
Well its day 3 of the 30 day squats challenge.
And I don’t want to do any squats. Like at all.
Or anything else for that matter.
Well last night was a bad night. A very anxious night.
So I am exhausted. We woke up 15 minutes late this morning and felt like everything was thrown off. So much so, that I didn’t even make my eggs this morning.
Instead, I just ate left overs from last night then did 25 squats (1 set of 4) and laid with my toddler while she fell asleep.
And now I’m here writing my post about how I’m in a mental funk and that mental funk leads to physical exhaustion. Don’t you just hate when your mental illness gets in the way of things you want to do.
Cause I realized that I have given up on a lot of things because at some point in doing anything I would fall into a mild depression state and just give up.
But I am tired of being fat. It is not healthy. It doesn’t look good. So This Time…..I am not giving up.
I might take a nap…..but I won’t give up. I’ll finish my 100 squats for the day. I’ll go pay some bills. I will pick the kids up from school and get everything done like I do every single day. I cannot let a foul mood destroy a challenge I said I was going to do. And Anxiety is more than a foul mood.
See I have been anxious for a couple days. Since the school shooting. Because that is a terrifying thing. I have a daughter in school. I cannot fathom the idea of anything happening to her at school. The one place where she is supposed to feel safe. I had issues letting her go to school last year because it was her first year. Separation anxiety. I wasn’t ready for her to spend that many hours away from me. But she loves school. She hates when she is sick and has to miss school. I just told my husband last night that if anything ever happened (and I pray all the time that it will never) to the girls…. I don’t think I would be able to cope. At all.
So today… I will work thru my anxiety to get motivated. Because if I don’t.. I might start getting depressed again.
Okay… So I was on Facebook yesterday morning and I saw this challenge that 3 writers from BuzzFeed decided to do. So I watched this 3 minute video about squats and I got to thinking. ‘Hey squats aren’t so hard’
So I decided that I am going to do this 30 day challenge. I am going to squat 100 times a day for 30 days. I mean squats are like the easier work outs that I’ve seen. At least when it comes to challenges. I mean have you tried to plank for any length of time. It is not easy.
Yesterday was day 1 of the challenge. I did all my 100 squats before 6 pm. See I decided since I am a mom and my kids usually have me busy or running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I would break the 100 down into 4 sets of 25. This way it would be easier for me to squeeze them in between whatever I gotta get done. (Moms will understand)
So by the time I had gotten my 100 done.. I was energized. I was happy. I wanted to do more things. So I danced around the living room with my girls to music we made up. I did 100 wall push ups. (Cause they’re easier on my wrists….they tend to pop a lot) I ran food to my brothers, then came home got a movie and a book and took it back to my brother to borrow and came back home.
Then I figured that when I went to sleep….. I would wake up unable to move.
Well today is day 2 and Surprisingly…. I wasn’t sore at all. I got up at my usual time to get my older kid dressed and was putting one foot in front of the other just like any other day. There was no tension in my leg muscles, there was no cringing look on my face. There was nothing…
That is until I started my first set of 25. Then I realized that there was some mild pain. But hey. I am committed to this challenge. Most of my fat is in my legs. So if this challenge will make any sort of change in my legs. It’ll be worth it.
I’ll keep you guys updated periodically on my journey over the next month.
Wish me luck