For some reason, any people think that anyone who has a mental illness is either faking or constantly depressed and incapable of doing anything.
However, what many people don’t realize is that we have our good days and we have our bad days just like anyone else. The only difference is that while someone without a mental illness might have a bad day that is like a 5, ours feels like a negative 10. We feel our emotions to the extremes. We’re either extremely happy, like overly joyed or we are extremely down, on the ground.
Somedays, I feel like I can literally do anything and everything. I conquer the world. I wake up on time. I get motivated and I accomplish so much.
Then there are days where I feel like I cannot do anything. Like everything is a struggle. The idea of going to the store at peak hours where it is completely crowded gives me great anxiety. I don’t wake up on time or even if I did, I feel like I am still so tired and sluggish. I have a hard time getting up and motivated.
Luckily, my days seem to balance out and I am working very hard to have my good days outweigh my bad days.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
Fighting a mental disease can be one of the hardest things that you could ever do. It is an invisible demon who sits there and tells you how much of a failure you really are. How much better the world will be without you. Or how you can never do anything right.
It is waking up feeling like the world is weighing you down….fighting all day long and then getting ready for bed feeling overwhelmingly exhausted. like you’re not worth anything. Like you did accomplished nothing that day. It is the worst possible feeling you could ever imagine. Some days… I sit in a shower with water as hot as I can stand it and just weep. silently. because if I draw attention to myself its another battle….My family is very supportive and understanding. But that doesn’t mean that I need them to know every single time that my head is winning.
So…Some days.. I just need to be loved a little louder… That is one thing that I need my support team to understand. I don’t need them to fight my battles. I don’t need them to even completely understand what I am going thru. I just need them to love me….and the days where my head is screaming at me… I need them to love me just a little louder. Kind of like reassuring someone. Just let me know you’re there. That I am not alone. That I have support. It can honestly go a long way.