I like to help anyone and everyone. It is just who I am. Honestly. My friend was a stay at home mom and her husband lost his job because he was late to work for the last time and it cause a final strike even though he had a dr note from where their child had been hurt.
So I calculated a month amount of their bills….and my husband and I gave them the money. I say my husband because I run things by him because we’re a team and he hardly ever tells me no because I have explained so many times how important it is to put good into the world.
It didn’t matter to me that we might not be able to go on vacation that summer.. It really didn’t because a vacation to the beach is not a necessity. But my friends kids having a roof and food….that is a necessity to me because I look at those boys like they’re my nephews. And I wouldn’t want to see them go without because a stupid job wouldn’t accept a doctors note for his son.
I am not trying to make myself look good. I was just providing an example of one of the times that we helped others because it is something that is important to us to help others.
I cannot count the times that I have just been there to listen for others which is actually a really hard thing for me because I am an overly empatheic person and I feel their pain. I feel all of their emotions. I draw off of others emotions. And it is pretty awful. Because feeling too many emotions from others can be draining. Both emotionally and metnally.
So if you’re that type of person who is constantly there for others. You’re the one who everyone calls. You constantly got your hand out reaching to help anyone and everyone up… Please know that you need to take time to heal yourself. You need time to decompress. you need time to refill yourself. Because you cannot fill from an empty cup.
I know that it is tempting and you feel obligated to keep going and helping others when you are barely hanging in there. I know how hard it is to say no. But you need time to get yourself back together. I hate saying no. But I have had to learn how to say no because I have come to realize that there are people out there who will keep taking from you and not care when you’re empty.
They will keep calling and begging you to come running until you’re so tired you run off the road (luckily that has never happened to me) They will berate you and yell at you and call you names because you put yourself first. But that is ok. Let them call names. Let them talk. Let them figure shit out for themselves. There is no where in the world that says you have to be their personal superhero.
And if they cannot understand that you need to get yourself back together either emotionally or metnally….did they ever really care about you?
Because my circle has become so small for this exact reason. I have cut people out and stopped helping them because they’re taking advantage of me. They just want to use me. They just want what I can offer. But when my tank is empty…when I need someone….they’re never there.
You don’t have to keep being taken advantage of. You control who you help who you see who is worthy of you.
Don’t let others tell you that they deserve to take every ounce from your cup. Because they don’t deserve anything.
I am sorry if this is a long rant. Please remember that you need to help yourself before you can help others. It is like in an airplane. They tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. That is the same in everyday life. If you’re exhausted mentally, physicall and emotionally you do not have to help anyone else. You have to recharge your batteries because you are so important.