Kids chores

 

I haven’t really came across anyone who doesn’t have their kid do some type of chores. I have my kids do chores and when my nephews are here, I expect them to pitch in as well.

I am no maid.

Yes, I clean all the time, but when it comes to the girls’ room, that is their responsibility. So I thought I would write about the benefits of chores.

1.) Teaches them responsibilities.

I am the type of mom that if I go into the room and trip over a toy, that toy goes into toy jail. Especially if I told said kid to clean their room.  I also teach my kids that it is easier to clean up a few toys than a whole room. So that kind of teaches them that when they’re done with one toy and they’re no longer playing with it, then they should put it up before getting another one out.

The two year old hasn’t quite gotten the hang of things yet, but she does try to assist her sister on cleaning things up. Then there are days where the two year old decides that every toy should be on the floor.

My oldest, she has learned from chores that it is her responsibility to keep up with her toys because leaving them out could mean that toy gets taken away or broken.

2.) A sense of accomplishment.

I try to teach my oldest that I shouldn’t have to tell her to clean her room. That doesn’t always go over the way I want it. But then there are some days where I will be in the kitchen or doing something and she’ll tell me to come here and she has cleaned her room and made her bed without being told. She feels accomplished and as a parent who wants to inspire my kids…. I acknowledge that accomplishment.

3.) Delayed Gratification

We offer our oldest an allowance for doing chores without being asked. Now if we have to harp on her all the time, then she doesn’t get paid for it. However, there was one time where she had her cousin/best friend over and after they ate dinner, without being asked, she cleared the table and wiped it down. I was utterly proud. However, she doesn’t get her allowance the day of. And we don’t hand out actual physical cash because it can get lost. So what we do is keep a tally of the days she has done chores and if there are any extra bonuses. When we go to the store, she ask if she has enough money in her ‘imaginary bank’ to buy a toy. She asks if she has enough for a little, medium or large toy. If she doesn’t have enough, she simply says that she’ll have to work harder to earn the money and that maybe next time she will have enough to buy something.

4.) Self discipline

Chores teach kids self discipline. What that means to me is that if your kid is not responsible for the mess they make and only depend on others to clean up behind them, they’ll carry that into adult hood and could possibly live in a mess. Our oldest knows that if she makes the mess she has to clean it. She cannot go to granny’s or do any fun things if she has a mess left behind

It also teaches her to allow time to clean up. So that if she knows that she has to go to bed at 9 and brush her teeth at 8:30 then she will need to have her room cleaned up by 8 or else the next night her bed time will be moved up earlier.

5.) Independence

We never want our kids to grow up but as parents we need to make sure that we are teaching our children how to adult without us. That doesn’t mean make a 6 year old think and act like an 18 year old. No! What we’re really trying with chores is to teach them how to handle things independently and the amount of independence grows with age. A six year old is not expected to cook by themselves. However, my six year old does help set the table while I am cooking. It teaches her that meals such as dinner should be ate away from technology. She will put the plates out and get the water for everyone eating. Soon, as she grows older, she will be able to cook on her own. Right now, I let her help me cook. Her favorite thing to cook is eggs.

6.) Chores create teachable moments

When my kid was watching me do the dishes, she didn’t understand why I did them in a certain order. This allowed me to teach her why doing the greasy frying pans last is easier and better because it doesn’t transfer the grease to other dishes. Why does mommy vacuum after dusting? This allowed me to teach her that if you dust, the dust will fall on the floor. If you vacuum before dusting, then you will be vacuuming again. There are many teachable moments in chores, you just gotta let them come to you with the questions and be ready to answer.

7.) Good work ethics.

Chores teach good work ethics. Work smarter not harder. Sometimes my kid is very good at this and sometimes not so much. But she is still learning. There are days where if she has one toy out but wants to play with another, she will put the first toy away before getting the second. This allows for a less cleaning time and more play time. Now she’s only 6 so sometimes she still just pulls them all out. and that makes clean up harder but she still gets it done with no fuss.

8.) Finish what  you started

Chores are a great way to teach children to finish what they start. You’re clothes are just going to get dirty if you don’t put them up and dump them on the floor. The dishes won’t get washed if you just pile them on the table. This can transfer to school and later in life

9.) Respect

Chores is a great way for kids to learn respect. If they are responsible for their own items, then they will respect them more. Especially if doing chores allows them to buy items. Then they will have even more respect for those items because they worked hard for them.

10.) Finding fun

Chores have always been a tedious job. I, as an adult, still don’t like to do chores but I have to get them done anyway. But I find a way to make things fun. Especially when I have music playing and I’m dancing around. Kids look at the chores the same way. So it allows them to find a way to make something so boring and turn it into fun. Like who can get the most toys cleaned up the fastest.

Picky eaters

 

One of the biggest challenges that I have faced as a mom isn’t dirty diapers or sick kids. I have a natural maternal instinct so the sick kids I can handle. The dirty diapers comes with being a parent. What my challenge is….. Picky Eaters!

My oldest didn’t use to be a picky eater when she first started eating solid food. She was actually a vegetarian for 6 months. Wouldn’t touch anything meat related. So that made me a vegetarian for 6 months because there was no point in fixing two meals and financially it wasn’t worth two separate meals.

But then something changed when she was 2. She would only eat chicken nuggets, pizza, eggs, and pizza rolls. it was a battle to get her to eat anything else. Sometimes she would eat spaghetti but not the meat. She would pick that out. When I was working all the time, it was just easier to cave and give in to her pickiness than to actually fight to get her to eat something else. I was exhausted.

But when I became a home mom, I had more time to try to work things in. But if she could see it, you would forget about it. So there was half the battle. I know that you can shred cooked broccoli and hide it in mac n cheese but if she saw a speck of green she wouldn’t eat. That is where shakes came into. I could make a banana smoothie with spinach, put it in a cup that you couldn’t see thru with a straw and she loved it.

But I couldn’t hide everything and it got really hard. She loved carrots. But only the sweet kind you get from a Japanese restaurant. So I could use those and slowly decrease the sweetness and she didn’t know.

But as she got a little older and we were preparing for her to start her first year of school, we knew that if she wanted to eat school lunch she would have to expand her taste buds. And to do so, whenever I cooked food, she would have to eat a small bowl of what I cooked and if she didn’t like it she could find something else for dinner which usually consisted of pizza rolls, grilled cheese or chicken nuggets. However, to her surprise, she sometimes liked what I had cooked and asked for a second bowl. There are sometimes, I know she won’t eat what I cooked but per our agreement, she has to try it. I never give her too much because if she doesn’t like it then it is wasting food.

It probably isn’t the best way to fight the picky eater syndrome. But it is a start. She is seeing that there are other foods that she really likes, like chicken pie and lasagna soup. I even let her help meal plan. Where in the 60 meals I choose she gets to pick 10 of her all time favorites that are not grilled cheese, breakfast, chicken nuggets or pizza. Then of course we do have pizza nights all the time. Maybe twice a month. But we don’t order out pizza. That is for special occasions.

Nope. We sit together at the kitchen table and make our own pizza. And we make it stuffed crust. Even the two year old loves to help put cheese and pepperoni on the pizza.

The picky-ness hasn’t ended yet. But we are working on it. One meal at a time.

Taking the pacifier

So I have yet to see a baby that has not ever had a pacifier. At some point in time. My oldest made things so easy. She took herself of the pacifier when she was six months. No lie. One day she just didn’t want it anymore. And that was it. No more pacifier. But she did have a security stuffed animal that she used whenever she was teething.

It was amazing.

And I had hopes that it would be that easy for the second child to do the same.

But boy was I wrong. Taking the pacifier away from the baby was a very long and rough road. It was incredibly difficult and time consuming.

However, it also wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be when I look back at it. Whenever the pacifier would disappear, she would throw the worst fit until we would go find them. And it wasn’t always the easiest tasks because she is good at losing things and being a baby she couldn’t exactly always remember where they were.

We went about it in such a way that was strenuous. We would talk about taking it away and that was just it. We kept talking about it. We didn’t actually act on it til I just was done and hid it. I put it up where she couldn’t see it but also where I could get to it if I broke down and gave it back.

She was almost two when I took it away. And I really wanted to do it soon because I didn’t want the pacifier to cause her teeth to deform. I was really lucky that she didn’t start sucking her thumb because that would cause a deformity as well. However, she has started biting her nails….which isn’t bad but isn’t good either.

 

So I had one kid who willingly quit using the pacifier at 6  months and then I had one kid who had to have the pacifier hidden away at about 18 months.

 

So when do you think the pacifiers should be taken away?

Anxiety and Dreams

Okay, so as you guys know we’re currently having issues with my in laws.

and being a person with anxiety.

Makes me even more protective or more of a momma bear.

So, I need advice. Or maybe some comments. A discussion. From others outside of the situation to talk it thru.

The other night, I had this really bad dream. Having anxiety, I think, makes my dreams more vivid and more real. I wake up feeling like they’re real. That they’re going to happen. Like a premenition.

So this dream, I went to pick up the kids from school because I pick up my nephews as well. And the boys got in the car. But….my daughter was no where to be found. The principal came over and told me that she had been checked out earlier in the day by her grandfather, my father in law.

So I go over there to get her back…and he won’t give her back. He hides her away and runs. I think it comes from the fact that when my mom first left my dad….he kidnapped us and hid us in my great grandma’s basement. But it was going on and on and I was trying everything to get my kid back. And nothing was working. To the point that I was calling in help from people that I know are violent.

That was one dream.

Another dream the next day was my father in law showing up at my house when my husband wasn’t home. He pushed his way in to see the girls. And he wouldn’t leave. I tried everything and he just WOULDN’T leave. To the point that I was calling the cop and my FIL said that the cops wouldn’t do anything because he was family.

……

I woke up from both these dreams in a full on anxiety attack. These dreams have had me terrified.

So….I put some thought into it and I think I should go to the school and remove him from the list of picking up my daughter from school. I don’t want to ever feel like I did in my dreams.

So….what do you guys think?

Update

 

So a few days ago I filled ya’ll in on a situation that was happening with my in laws. The wife said, how did she put it….lets see it was “We WILL be there Thursday for an afternoon visit”

Telling me what they’re going to do at my house.

That was when a trigger kinda flipped in my head and I saw red.

That and the fact that she was 1.) Throwing tantrum like a toddler and 2.) Reprimanding me as if I am a child. I will be 30 in a few short years. I am far from being a child.

I calmly let her know the following day, after I calmed down. That we would not be home Thursday. I have a cousin (he’s my cousins husband) in hospice, he’s about 80 something years old. He has pancreatic cancer. So I wanted to keep this past week open in case I needed to go comfort my cousin in her time of need. I didn’t want to make plans and then cancel them last minute. I am not that rude.

Well of course that didn’t make them happy. They haven’t let me know. They aren’t talking to me….. Which I am perfectly fine with. But they have recently contacted my husband requesting the girls on Easter.

 

Yesterday.

They requested the girls on a holiday that they don’t even celebrate yesterday. 2 Days before said holiday.

 

I saw RED!!!!!

For the past 5 years we have done the same tradition every year. It is no secret. These in laws know exactly what we do EVERY YEAR!!!! I’ve been talking about these plans for months. I started planning a month ago. The minute Wal-Mart put out Easter stuff… I made the baskets.

You see I make the baskets… cause I love organizing things and my brother does the egg hunt.

So every Easter, my husband gets up and takes the girls to church with his mom. Every EASTER. They get home around 1 or 2 and then we go to my brothers for the egg hunt. After egg hunt we all go eat. Every YEAR.

But now all of a sudden they want us to push our plans around so they can see them?!?!?!?!

NO.

 

Have you ever had your anxiety over not saying the right thing turn into anger where you don’t care anymore????

When I sit there and read what they’re saying (because who says anything to your face anymore) I see red…. then I get anxiety. I freak out about what I should say. I type….delete….type….delete…type….ask my husband if its too mean…delete….type and send. Then my anxiety grows waiting for a response. I think it comes from a childhood of never being able to speak my mind because it would either cause a bad reaction or I would be reprimanded.

 

So that’s where we are in this situation….. don’t you love in laws????

What kids hear

What my kid hears versus what I as the parent hears. Now that statement could go many ways as many parents know. But this is just one story.

So my kid has been doing this project thing in class and I thougth cool its a class project as in it stays in class. they had to choose an animal, research said animal and then build an animal out of clay. Cool. Right?

Nope.

So she comes home from school yesterday and hands me her binder so I can look thru it and sign it and theres a paper in there. She has to create a habitat for the animal she has chosen.

And boy is she excited.

So what she hears is ‘a cool project where I can draw and paint and create’

But what I hear is ‘Crap I’m going to burn myself a thousand times again with the hot glue gun.’

which I have

you see she chose a dog. She loves dogs.

So the habitat that she would need would be a backyard right?

but where do dogs lay down in the back yard???

a dog house.

And how did I decide to build this dog house??? with popsicle sticks.

held together by HOT GLUE!

and I’ve only been working on this thing today and I have burned every single finger. And half the time I am not even sure how it happened and sometimes its because my kids bump into me and my and touches the hot spot or the hot glue.

Either way. My kid hears yay project and I hear ouch. Crap. Damn. Shit. Well you know the kind of vulgar that slips out of your mouth when you get hurt. its like stubbing your toe.

But I am that type of mom. I am going to keep burning myself anyway. Until it gets done.

Yeah……I might need some positive vibes haha. When I was a kid I always had my mom help because she was artistic and I’m not. But now I can’t ask her to do it because she’ll be like… nope its your turn. haha. And this is the 2nd project in less than 2 months. >.<

Out of a bad mood

So with a mental illness like anxiety, your moods can kind of switch really fast and sometimes well most of the time you’re in a bad mood.

So how do you get out of the bad mood?

For me. I watch youtube videos. I sing. I dance around. Green Day is a great band to listen to when you just need to jump around. Which makes your bad mood kind of disappear.

But I mean I don’t just turn it on and instantly drop my mood. No it takes time. It takes a process. it takes a few videos. But with Green Day…. I usually get out of the mood pretty fast. sometimes.

Another thing is watching my favorite bands be just like everyone else. We see them as celebrities and for some reason society holds them to this higher standard so when I see Pete Wentz do something silly it makes me smile. Or Brendon Urie. Or even Patrick Stump.

My last bad mood was because of 2 seperate anxiety attacks within 5 hours of eachother that when I got home I just started surfing youtube and found a video of Patrick Stump performing Uma Thurman on the acoustic guitar. He did the Munster part and I was in awe. Like I need to pick up a guitar again just so I can learn that. He doesn’t need autotune and is so flipping talented. I mean, I feel like the MANIA album was a testament to the vocal capabilities that is Patrick Stump.

When I am in a bad mood, I force myself even if I don’t want to, to play with my kids. Because kids do the darndest things. They can be so flipping cute sometimes even if they drive you bonkers.

So how do you guys get out of a bad mood???