Feeling Sorry


I think one of my biggest flaws is my empathy.

Which is weird because my oldest brother has no empathy at all. He can punch someone and break their nose. And he will never feel sorry about it. Like ever. He has done a lot of crappy things and he never thinks twice about them. It is awful.

Me on the other hand. I feel all kinds of emotions. All the time. Not only that. But I feed off other emotions as well. If I am around someone and they’re having some type of emotion. I feel it. It becomes my emotion. It is the worst thing in the world because if I am around too many people with too many emotions it is disastrous for my anxiety and mental health.

But the worst thing about empathy. Is you can and probably will feel sorry for assholes. Or feel their emotions along with your emotions. it is the worst thing in the world.

For instance, my oldest brother can be an asshole. To a lot of people. A lot of the time. But I love him a lot. Enough so that I feel sorry for him and with him and I want to help him. Which I do. For a lot of people. No matter how many times I get burned.

And every single time I get burned. I get bummed. I get down and my mental health suffers from it.

But the next time I do the same exact thing. I feel for them and I put myself out there. It is a vicious circle. And I don’t know how to get out of it because when I do stand up and speak out, I feel like the asshole.


Just a random rant.