Be their calm

Little people are constantly learning…. and not just their language and math skills… They take the ques on how to act, react and be from the people around them.. We are their role models and for many years, we are their everything…

So when they are overwhelmed by big emotions… is up to the parents to be their calm, teach them how to be calm and not join their chaos….

I know its hard… especially if their big emotions are coming at a time when you, as the parent, are busy. As a stay at home mom, I am always up. I am always doing something. There is always something that needs to be done. So when my two year old comes to me because she misplaced a toy and is heartbroken…it can get kind of in the way. Which being an emotional person myself…could end up with me freaking out…. And I usualy don’t freak out when she loses a toy. I do however get a litte annoyed when she clings to my leg while I am trying to cook dinner because well the stove is really flipping hot….

But it is complicated for kids. Because they’re overwhelmed. They’re developing new emotions that they’re not ready for. That they’re not 100% sure how to handle. And when you’re a busy parent. It is so easy to join in their chaos… But in the end….it just makes it worse…

By joining their chaos, you’re showing them that the way to handle said emotion is by creating more chaos, staying in the chaos and not learning a way to fix the situation. Therefore, when your kid is developing new emotions that overwhelm them…..that cause them chaos. It is our job to be their calm… be that person that they can come to when they are unaware of how to react or how to change what they’re feeling…. It is our job to help them learn to calm down. We are their rocks. We are their calm in the crazy ocean that is feelings. As a mother with anxiety disorder, I know how overwhelming and overbearing emotions can be…. So for just a little while, I can put my emotions….my chaos…. on the back burner and be the calm in the storm…

Finding the calm

Anxiety can make normal things seem that much more chaotic.  Sometimes life feels like a never ending chaos. Personally, I feel like I never sit down. Well I mean I do sit down but it feel like there is a never ending list of things to do.

It’s funny actually because I am a stay at home mom. The automatic assumption of stay at home moms is that we are completely lazy.  For example, I’ve had a conversation where I’ve said I’m exhausted and they said what do you do to be exhausted. In a condescending manner. Since I was already exhausted and I tend to get cranky when I’m exhausted…. I kind of went off.

So….when life with anxiety feels so chaotic, you need to find what calms you. For me….its music. Music has always been a great tool in dealing with my anxiety. I use music to fill the silence…to motivate me….to express myself. I listen to music when I am cleaning. I listen to music when I am happy. I listen to music when I am sad. I listen to music when I just don’t know how I feel. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t I don’t listen to some type of music. My car holds 6 CD’s so I am always listening to something.


Life is full of surprises….its about finding the calm in the chaos. What makes you calm?