Good karma


I grew up believing in Karma. Kind of from my Sunday school teaching Grandma.

Now I know that Karma and Christ are two different types of beliefs. But my grandma always taught me that what you put into the world is what you get out of it. And that you should do for others without the expectations of anything in return. Thats just the godly way.

Thats also kind of like Karma.

The more good Karma you put out is the kind of Karma you are more likely to attract. However, if you’re a Negative Nancy…then that is all you’re going to attract.

Some people only do good things so that others will give them something in return…. To me that is wrong. That is not how you put good karma out into the word. That’s like sending good vibes with a negative note attached at the end. It’s still negative.

Personally, I will help anyone until I feel that I am being take advantage of. And it usually takes me a while to feel like someone is using me. when I do help someone… I never expect anything in return. I actually feel weird when others do anything for me.. or give me anything. I am not good at receiving anything. even on my own birthday.

Just by doing something good and having positive energy is enough. I try to tell anyone I help to pay it forward…do something nice for someone else. I wish everyone would send out positive energy because it could change the world.

What are some ways that I can create good Karma? Well it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. I can do small things like smiling and talking to the cashier because you never know what kind of customers they have had. Not cutting in front of anyone. Letting someone with less items go ahead of you. Especially if they’re carrying a bunch of stuff in their arms. Opening the door for someone. Picking things up if someone dropped them. There are just so many small things that you can do to create good karma in the world. You never know, maybe one day you’ll need someone’s kindness.

Fan letter: Dear Chester


I looked up journal prompts and some that may help with your mental health. One was to write a fan letter and you don’t actually have to send it. But if there is a certain celebrity that you relate to, one who has helped you thru a difficult time, writing your fan letter may help you to understand why they’re so important to you. So today… I am writing one to someone who is sadly no longer with us…..

Dear Chester Bennington,

It has been a little over 5 months since you left us. And I am pretty sure I speak for may fans when I say missing you hasn’t gotten any easier. I hope that you’re out there somewhere safe, somewhere warm… somewhere your demons can no longer torment you. And I hope you know how loved you are and always will be.

I want to thank you for always fighting for mental health. You laid out all of your problems in your songs and millions of fans, including myself, related to everything that you said. Thank you for being a voice for us when we didn’t feel like we had one.

There are way to many songs for me to list that spoke to me. Spoke to my soul and spoke me out of my anxiety. Helped me crawl my way out of depression. Your songs were my go to for my mental state. There is always a song in your library of genius that held some sort of meaning for me.

I can never say enough for what you meant to me… and its not just me. There are millions of fans around the world who felt the same way. And it is even worse with the fact that we missed your signs. The signs that you needed a friend. The signs that things were getting bad again. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry we never truly saw all the pain in your eyes. And I know that I never knew you personally….and never would have been more than just a random fan…. a body in a crowd. But I can’t help but wish that maybe I could have done something. anything to help you get thru your pain. To help you keep fighting. But you slipped thru our fingers.

The world lost a legend. The world lost a magnificent voice who helped lonely people like myself every single day. I bought the One More Light Live cd… and I can’t stop listening to it. It is the last Live album you’ll ever have. I feel like if I stop listening to the CD… you’ll truly be gone. And I know that you are in a better place… And I know I am being ‘silly’ being so tore up about a celebrity I never knew. But I feel like turning off the CD will put the final nail in the coffin.. You know? It would make it more real. At least if I keep playing the CD… I can keep hearing your voice. I’m not ready to give that up yet. I know that I can always play any of your cd’s or watch any of the videos on youtube to see you. But it is just something about this Live album that makes it more significant. Mike’s Instagram live listen of it didn’t help either. I feel his pain

You see… I lost a friend that was really close to me 7 years ago. It was unexpected and I thought I was going to see him again in a couple days… those couple of days will never come. I have never taken death very well and I am an overly emotional person. But I have never been to a memorial over a celebrity before…until you Chester.

your love for your family and fans was so strong that I was pulled to go. I felt like I needed to go. And when we all sang One More Light… there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. We care Chester. We care if one more light goes out. And for as long as I live…. I will be shining my light as bright as I can and work as hard as I can to break the stigma.

I applaud your wife Chester. She is one strong woman. When she has all the right to hide from the world and mourn…. she is standing tall with your love and fighting for you fans. She is fighting for mental health. She is fighting for you. She is a role model by all means.

Linkin Park doesn’t know what they’re going to do without you. And part of me feels like it’s not Linkin Park without you in it..without your fabulous voice… without your powerful screams….But I also know that they need to be able to mourn… They need to be able to move on. If they decide to continue as a band…and they should…they’re brothers….I will always support them. And I know that they will honor your memory in the best way possible.

Thank you for everything you did for your fans. All of your songs. All of your smiles.

We will always miss you.


Just a fan.

Favorite shows



In a previous post I stated why I watch specific shows over and over. Well for this journal entry…I thought I would list my top three tv shows.

Grey’s Anatomy.

Yes I am a TGIThursday girl. This sow really pulls at your heart strings (RIP McDreamy, Denny, George, Mark and Lexi…probably some I’m missing) This is one of these shows I can watch over and over and still cry…. My family is actually kind of annoyed with how many times I watch it. It is also part of my routine. It comes on at 3 pm most Monday-Friday afternoons on Lifetime. I put it on in the living room signifying that the kids need to go to the playroom and play because I am about to start dinner. It stays on til about 6 some days 8… When it ends at 6 it lets me know that it is time for the baths… I know I could just look at a clock which I do…don’t get me wrong. It’s just nice to have something on in the background that I know.

Gilmore Girls

I completely adore this show….even though I didn’t start watching it until 2015…years after it had gone off the air.. Thank goodness for Netflix. I have this thing where I don’t watch/listen to something because other people are. However, this show was worth it and I do wish I would’ve watched when everyone else was (When this show was running I was busy watching One Tree Hill instead) I love how fast they talk. The speed of their conversations makes some people go HUH? Like my mom. she has said ‘how do you keep up’ and I am just sitting here like…because I talk/think at the speed at which they are conversing. Its like they’re me. 🙂


I’m not even entirely sure why I like this show. It comes on Monday thru Friday at 7 AM and either stays on til 9 or 10 Am. I put it on so that my daughter will take her morning nap.. She doesn’t get too caught up with TV if its not a cartoon. So she just lays down and naps. I haven’t gotten her to nape in her room without her sister…one step at a time. So she naps on the couch and I can keep an eye on her while I do one of my many things I try to get done in that hour.

Scrubs is a good show tho. Its light hearted but does cover some serious issues. It’s been said to be one of the most accurate portrayals of what a real hospital is like. Its funny and well just an overall decent show.

The runner ups for top 3 because well I can never just settle are:

House M.D

Burn Notice

Royal Pains


One Tree Hill

Once Upon a Time.


So what would be on your top 3?

Weren’t so afraid


I think writing journal entries is a great way to put your anxieties out on paper (or blog post) so that you can see them. It’s not just in your head anymore. That way you can set a goal and over come them….some take a long time to do so.

So today, the post is 3 things I would do if I weren’t so afraid.


  1. Go on adventures

I would love to just go out and experience the world. Like go hiking. If money wasn’t an issue I’d fly to different countries…but then there’s my anxiety. I don’t like going places I don’t know by myself. I don’t go hiking because of wild animals and snakes.


2. Be more social

I’m a talkative person but not a social person. That doesn’t make too much sense right? Well, I’m not all too comfy meeting new people. And when I’m around people I am semi comfy with.. I feel like I talk too much. Then I spend way too much time worrying about what I said. If i did something wrong, said something wrong. If it wasn’t for anxiety… and I wasn’t so afraid… I would be more social.


3. Amusement parks

I use to lover roller coasters. Now they terrify me. The adrenaline rush that people enjoy….fills me with dread. If I wasn’t so afraid… I would enjoy roller coasters again.


What are 3 things that you would do if you weren’t so afraid?


Celebrity crushes

So this blog has been so much about what anxiety is and how we feel. Also, about the world against us. But I thought you all should get to know me better. So I’m making a little change.

Although, I am still a big advocate for breaking the stigma. I am also going to start posting journal topics and invite you to use the topics as well. And as always, please feel free to leave a comment, like and share.

Today’s topic is…. Celebrity crushes…the top 3. This is actually hard because I like so many. I go gaga. I try to tell my husband its better to be crazy over a celebrity than someone in town. (I would never encourage cheating. EVER) My celebrity crushes change a lot …that’s not true. I have a long list it is just my top that change. And the crushes aren’t in like a dirty way. A lot of them are either because of their personality, a character they play or their accent.

  1. Johnny Depp. I have been a big fan of Johnny Depp for 13 years. I love the McQuaid brothers … Jack Sparrow. Sweeny Todd. He’s so versitile…. (I do not want a discussion in regards to his divorce about Amber Heard. I don’t agree with domestic violence but I also don’t think he really did it…this is coming from the fact that she’s been arrested for domestic violence in the past and I have seen someone give themselves a black eye to get the other person arrested…add fame and money and people do crazy things…also you should never provoke someone when their mom dies….)
  2. Robert Downey JR. TEAM IRON MAN all the way. Love Iron man. He is my go to Avenger him and Mark Ruffalo.
  3. Jason Ritter…. I grew up with my mom watching Threes company all the time. So I remember watching John Ritter go from that to 8 Simple Rules. Then I watched Raise your voice…not too long after John Ritter passed and Jason’s character dies in a car crash… I bawled my eyes. And he was just so loveable as an older brother. It made me think of losing my brothers which made me cry. Then Jason came out with a new TV show that I never miss a week of if I can help it. It’s called Kevin probably saves the world. If you haven’t seen it yet…. I suggest you do. Its so good and he’s just so adorable.


So…who are your top 3.

*Side note.. my top 3 will change…they always do…

For a reason

Now days, most people has a Netflix account. well I love it.

With the hundreds of things to watch, my husband jokes about how I watch the same things over and over. But there is a reason for it.

For example, I have watched Gilmore Girls at least 5 times all the way thru in the past 2 years. Why? Well, there is nothing scary in any episode. Even the car crash Rory gets in isn’t even all that bad…she fractures her wrist. i can go to sleep watching Gilmore Girls and nothing I hear in my sleep will affect my dreams.

A little back note… I am that type of person who has to go to sleep with the TV on. I cannot do the silence and darkness. It used to be a nightlight and a CD. But now I just put on Netflix and go to bed. The TV cuts off on its own when the Netflix asks that ‘are you still watching’

But watching the same thing over and over….as long as its something you like can be beneficial to your anxiety. I read it somewhere. Probably on facebook. I don’t know.

There is just something therapeutic about knowing what’s going to happen next. Life gets chaotic and having anxiety makes the chaos worse. Having anxiety, the fear of not knowing whats going to happen next is like driving with a blindfold. So watching something where you know how it ends or what happens every minute can give you a sense of calm.

There is also the fact that if I start a new show…I go on a binge. I lose sleep. I don’t want to pause it and then there are some things that just creep into my sleep. Like Sons of Anarchy. I love the show…but cannot watch it before bed. I dream about biker gangs and violence and all sorts of stuff.

I have actually found an article about this so here you go. And let me know what you think about it.

Watching your favorite movies over and over is actually good for you

Hey guys….

Hey guys we are up to 58 followers and that is so awesome!!!

I cannot tell you enough how touched I am that you want to hear what I have to say.

But we got a long way to go to break the stigma…

I don’t want to be one of those bloggers who begs for shares.. 

But I’m fighting against a stigma that’s been around for decades

So I’m going to ask.

If each of you could find your favorite post…

And share the crap out of it. 

Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, reddit….anywhere and everywhere.

Let’s work together to break  the stigma. 
And I promise that within a week I will try to do the same on your blogs.  

Just drop a comment down below and tell  me you shared so I’ll know who to return the favor to.
And if you haven’t heard today…

You’re awesome