BBQ Cheeseburger Casserole.

As you have probably figured by now, I am a sucker for a casserole. Especially with two kids, house work, errands and school work. Casseroles as well as dump and bakes are a blessing. This was actually really good….and simple. My picky eater ate all of it… then again she did want some of her trunk or treat candy….We have rules… haha.

What you’ll need:

1Lb ground beef

Onion (optional)

About 1/2 cup BBQ

About 1/4 cup Mustard ( I used honey mustard because I love it)

1 package crescent rolls.

1 to 2 cups cheese.

*I say about because I don’t usually use measurements. I eyeball all the measurements, taste it…if it needs more add it.

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F

Cook the ground beef and onion til no longer pink. Season it however you like.

While the beef is cooking, open the crescent rolls and place in a baking dish. spread it out to fit. Then bake until just barely golden and no longer gooey.

Once the beef is done, drain it. Add the BBQ and Mustard.

Then place on top of the crescent roll.

Add cheese!

Bake for about 20 to 30 minutes. Then ENJOY!

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#Lyrics #TalkingToMyself

Because music speaks the words that we are all too afraid to mutter. I decided that I would start looking at songs and why I relate to them. The first one…. Talking to myself by Linkin Park. I sure do miss Chester.

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Tell me what I’ve gotta do
There’s no getting through to you

I have someone in my family who has constantly gone thru this depressive state (Although some say he’s just striving for attention) where he cuts himself, gets overly drunk or does something….No matter what I do, what I say. I cannot get thru to him to stop. He has spent many nights in the hospital and even been committed.
The lights are on but nobody’s home (nobody’s home)

This line really gets to me. Like I try my hardest to convince him that there is a reason to live. His family. He has kids. He can change his life. But I feel like the minute I start talking he shuts down and stops listening.
You say I can’t understand
But you’re not giving me a chance

This part gets me because he acts like since I am okay on the outside that I haven’t dealt with my own demons. I do. I deal with them on a daily basis. I talked to a therapist at a Halloween party about certain things and he thinks that because of certain things that happened when I was younger that stemmed from this family member is why I have my demons… Could possibly be true. Like when I finally start to talk about what happened, being called a liar… Thanks. Honestly, thanks.
When you leave me, where do you go? (Where do you go?)

Again, I try to talk and he shuts me down.

All the walls that you keep building
All this time that I spent chasing
All the ways that I keep losing you

Am I ever going to get thru to him?

The truth is, you turn into someone else

When he gets in these moods where he doesn’t care, it’s like I am dealing with someone else. I know he is capable of love. I know he is capable of compassion, but sometimes when he’s like this it seems like he is someone else.
You keep running like the sky is falling
I can whisper, I can yell
But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know
I’m just talking to myself
Talking to myself
Talking to myself
But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know
I’m just talking to myself

It does seem like I am talking to myself. Honestly. Nothing I have ever said has gotten thru to him. He has watched many anxiety/panic attacks while he cuts himself or takes off or when he’s just being him. But does he stop. Does he care? Will he listen to me finally? I doubt it. I feel like I am talking to myself.

I admit I made mistakes

Nobody’s perfect
But yours might cost you everything

In his case, his life
Can’t you hear me calling you home?

All the walls that you keep building
All this time that I spent chasing
All the ways that I keep losing you

The truth is, you turn into someone else
You keep running like the sky is falling
I can whisper, I can yell
But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know
I’m just talking to myself
Talking to myself
Talking to myself
But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know
I’m just talking to myself

All the walls that you keep building
All this time that I spent chasing
All the ways that I keep losing you

The truth is, you turn into someone else
You keep running like the sky is falling
I can whisper, I can yell
But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know
I’m just talking to myself
Talking to myself
Talking to myself
But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know
I’m talking to myself

#anxiety … Its time for something personal

Well as a part of my thank you to my followers. Yeah I know. I haven’t hit a big number of followers but the ones I do have are important and no one can ever change that. So, I was requested to post a personal diary story.

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As a mom with anxiety disorder, things get hard. And no, I don’t mean in any way that would physically harm anyone. My brother was/is a cutter…I won’t go down that road… I do have a high pain tolerance (all natural births both times) however I’m not the type of person who want to test my tolerance.

When I say hard I mean I go thru times where I don’t feel good enough. I stay at home.

The mornings start with my husband leaving for work. Is he going to be late? Did I not hear the alarm to make sure hes up? I sleep too much. I’m not doing my part. I’m not good enough.

After he leaves I start getting things ready for the day. Pull out meat so i can cook dinner and pack kids lunches. Did I remember the spoon? Did I take the crust off the sandwhich? Will this fill them up? Is this what they wanted to eat today? I’m not good enough.

Now comes the part of waking my daughter up so we can get ready for school to pick up my nephews. Am I helping enough? Did I yell at her? Was I too mean? Is my youngest feeling left out? I’m not good enough.

In the car I hear the kids talking…on days like these I’m usually lost in my head. Did I run the light? Did I stop long enough at the stop sign? Then one of the kids asks if I will come eat lunch with them….sometimes its hard to gather the energy to be in a loud room full of kids. Am I there for the kids enough? I’m not good enough.

Getting back home with my toddler usually consists of more picking up. Do I clean enough? Fixing myself and the baby some breakfast. Is she getting the proper nutrtion? Then it’s getting her ready for nap time. I’m not good enough.

While she naps I try to get some school work done. Maybe edit some photos. Wishing that I had the courage to go out and take photos without constantly needing someone with me. I’m not good enough.

Nap times over. Time to clean the baby up. Diapers and clothes changed etc. Then its time to make the baby some lunch. Does she know how much I love her and her sister? I’m not good enough

Time to get the kids from school. This consists of sitting in the car line for an hour to and hour and a half. Once the kids get in the car, do I make enough small talk? Am I asking the right questions about their day? I’m not good enough.

Time to help my daughter with her homework, clean again, give baths and cook dinner. Am I providing enough boundries? Am I giving them enough independence? I’m not good enough.

Luckily, this isn’t an every day occurrence. It does happen. I feel like no matter what I do I’m not good enough. I’m not a good enough mom because I sometimes yell/fuss at my kids. I’m not a good enough wife because I’m usually exhausted by the time he comes home and not loving enough. I’m not a good enough aunt because I keep putting off eating lunch.

Some days. Im just not good enough. And I know people will tell me things like get over it. Hey! you cannot tell me how to feel. Ever! Feelings are something personal. You’re not going to feel the exact same way as I do so you can’t tell me how to feel.

So here’s my persinal entry on how sometimes I don’t feel good enough.

Cheesy spinach chicken pasta

We do not eat enough greens. At all. My nephew refuses to eat anything green. I try to include things that are healthy in our foods. Especially since we do eat out once a week. And we only do that because I mean hey I do need a break.

What you will need:

Chicken breast. I used 2 decent size

Penne pasta

1/2 cup to a cup sour cream

Cream cheese

Spinach

Ranch mix

Seasoning…your choice

Cheese….your choice

Preheat oven to 350 degree F

Cut the chicken up into bits. I usually do this before cooking because its easier…maybe a little more slimey….but its easier than cooking, waiting for it to cool and then cutting. This way I can just transfer it to whatever I’m cooking.

While the chicken is cooking. Boil the pasta. According to directions. Except you want to pull it off the stove just a little bit before its done. Dont worry it will finish in the oven.

Now, its time to mix some things together. I know it’s a lot of multitasking. But it doesn’t take much time. So here we will need to mix the cream cheese, sour cream. Ranch mix and spinach. It looks kind of gross but hey. It turns out good in the end.

When the pasta is done. Drain it. Add the cooked chicken and the pasta to the spinach mix. Stir to combine then transfer to oven. Cover with cheese and bake about 25 to 30 minutes.

#Thank you

I now have 16 followers. Thats pretty awesome. Thank you guys soo much.

When I started this blog…I never believed anyone would have paid attention…that I’d be all alone.

So…as a way to say thank you…

What would you guys like for me to write.

This could be anything like:

Anxiety

Depression

Music reviews

Tv reviews

Movie reviews

Recipes. (You choose a dish or ingredient)

….

Or anything at all. Its up to you.

Post a sugesstion in the comments and lets get this thing rolling.

P.s. for dinner tonight I’m making chicken cheesy pasta.

Again thank you guys…I feel so loved

#MakeChesterProud

So the Chester memorial is on tonight. And I am just one big ball of feels.

Every song hits right in my emotional gut like being kicked in the stomach. I’m crying….a lot….and its ok…I will be ok….we will be ok.

Chester sadly passed away a couple months ago. It had been a very well known fact that he suffered from mental illness and that mental illness is what led to him leaving us.

No its not fair. And I know that sounds so bad for someone to say about anyone who has passed. But its not fair. Not just because as a fan we wont get to hear any mew music from this lyrical genius. He was a father a husband a friend a leader and much more. He was a person.

Whats not fair is depression and mental illness. Theres help available. We know that. Well at least we do now since Chester left us. Depression and suicide prevention has come to the front lines….finally.

There is a hashtag on twitter that Talinda promotes…and so do I. Its #FuckDepression. Because really if im going to be angry or sad or say Fuck You to anything or anyone for Chester it would be depression.

I hate depression. I do. And I hate when I’m depressed. It happens. Okay. Don’t tell me its life. Dont call me a cry baby. Dont tell me others have it worse. Just don’t.

Its actions like that…that caused many people to not get help. Sometimes…we need help. We do. Depression sucks.

Depression hurts. It hurts so bad. Sometimes it hurts so much that we become numb. Being numb is better than constantly feeling the pain.

The thing is….Chester knew that. He could relate to us on a personal level. We relied on him. We waited patiently for the new albums so we could hear more songs about how we felt. Thr true fans that is. I’m not talking about the ones who complained every time an album came out because it didn’t sound like the 1st one.

If anything comes from tonight show…i hope it helps people who are suffering to find a way to get help. No matter what anyone says….ever….getting help is not weakness. It is strength. As a fan, I wish that I could have helped Chester. Maybe just a little.

I know this sounds like a rambled post but im watching the show…bawling like a baby…. And needed to get some thoughts out…please share yours

#OneMoreLight #MakeChesterProud #FuckDepression

Cabage soup casserole

We’ve all heard about the amzing benefits of a cabbage soup….right? I’ve heard that its great for detoxing and other miracle properties….. Could be true since cabbage is really good for you. I, however, just like the taste.

So…

Here’s what you will needg

1 lb hamburger

Onion

About cup of chopped celery (optional)

Beef broth

Diced tomatoes

Tomato sauce

Cabbage…chopped

Salt/pepper

Garlic powder

Before we begin. Lidl recntly opened in my town last week. I’ve been dying to go. So I made a two week meal plan and wrote out my grocery list. Mind you I didn’t need any meat because I go to the local meat market..they have great prices.

I ended up with 55 items for only 58 bucks. Mind you I had a bag full of onions and celery. But my meal plan didnt call for the celery til next week and I didn’t want it to spoil. I was initially looking for frozen chopped celery but couldn’t find any. So…I decided to do it l. I spent half an hour chopping onions and celery just to freeze them. It will save me money in the future and it didn’t even take that much of my time.

The celery in this recipe is optional. I just had some so why not use it. The more green the better right?

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

You will need to brown the beef. Half way thru I added the onion and celery so they could get nice and done before going into the casserole.

The hardest part I think was chopping up the cabbage. That is after you wash it. Always wash your veggies, fruits and the tops of your cans. Always.

While the beef is cooking chop up the cabbage and place it into your baking dish.

In a bowl, mix together the broth, sauce and tomatoes. Pour this over the cabbage.

When the beef is done…drain it. We don’t need any of that grease in our dish. Add this to the mixture and bake.

It took about 2 hours for the casserole to bake so that the cabbage was all the way done. You do not want to serve something where the cabbage isn’t easy to chew.

Funny thing is….I like cabbage but not Brussel sprouts.