While they’re little
Being a parent is one of life’s greatest joys. I have said a million times that being a mom is one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. My girls are little right now. They’re both under the age of ten. And when something happens in their day to day life, they make a big deal out of it. Even the tiniest of things like dropping their fork on the floor can bring about the biggest meltdowns. However, you have to listen to these moments and not just brush them off.
If you don’t listen to the little things when they are little then they won’t tell you the big things when they’re big. There are going to major milestones in your kids lives. I don’t know about you, but I want to hear about every single thing that happens. If you dismiss the things that they feel are big to them now, then they will be uncomfortable later on when they really need to talk to someone like their parents.
Personally, I am not comfortable about talking about sex to anyone other than my best friend and my husband. I literately have never had a sex talk with my mom. I believe that she thought I hadn’t had sex until she found out I was pregnant. Its just not a comfortable topic. It took me eleven years for me to tell my mom that I had been sexually abused at the age of five.
I don’t want my kids to feel the way I did. I want them to be able to come talk to me. To create an environment where they are comfortable talking to me about their big milestones all through their life…. I have to listen to them now. Even if means that they are having a meltdown about dropping a fork or breaking a crayon. Sometimes we forget that our kids emotions are important.
While it may seem insignificant to us as adults, it is important to them. They are dealing with big emotions and they will feel ignored and a burden if we brush their feelings off. I understand that we sometimes are so overwhelmed with our daily life…. but as parents, we need to just take a second to listen to what is going on in our kids lives. Sometimes that means listening to how two toys are having an argument.
Think about it. Especially if you have anxiety or any other mental illness. How more comfortable would you be talking about your feelings if your parents were more open and listening to you as a child? I am not blaming my mom for any of my mental illness. She is one of the few who actually believe me and doesn’t say its just in my head. I can just get over it. She actively tries to calm me down on a day to day basis. However, she worked all the time. She was a single parent. And I didn’t want to burden her with my feelings. And my oldest brother used to call me a big baby if I talked about the way I felt, so I just held it in. And holding it in became my comfort zone.
But I do not want my children to have that mindset. I want them to come to me with anything that they are feeling or dealing with. I want them to feel comfortable talking to me about the big things because I want to be apart of that. I don’t want them to feel like they have to hide things from me.
To ensure that my kids are comfortable talking to me I need to listen to them now. While they are little. It is so simple. Just LISTEN to your kids. And Don’t brush off their emotions like they’re nothing because to your kids, its not small. Its big to them so it needs to be big to you too.