I have debated writing this for weeks now. Because I don’t want to sound like I am ungrateful or that I didn’t have a good time. I know the people who work with and for the Wrestlecade weekend and I know that they work really hard to ensure that the fans have a great time and that they put on a great show. The entire weekend was amazing. I am not questioning that at all. I loved it. However, I am someone who suffers from severe anxiety and this weekend was no exception…..
Wrestlecade has been happening for a couple years now. Wrestlecade is a jam packed weekend following Thanksgiving. It is a three day weekend. Holy cow is it always so full of action. It is a wrestling fans dream.
So…. here is the thing. I don’t do crowds. Or at least very well. I can get kind of claustrophobic in crowds and sometimes I have been known to hide in the restroom trying not to cry. The first day of Wrestlecade was no different. Another thing is I really haven’t done any wrestling events without my husband standing right beside me. He’s my rock and keeps me calm. He some how senses the change in my body language and calms me down greatly. However, my husband wasn’t able to be by my side for Wrestlecade weekend. You see, my husband is training to be a wrestler and was apart of the Wrestlecade staff that weekend. Which meant that I was a fan, in all the lines, alone….
So the first day of Wrestlecade is on Black Friday. Which is fine with me because that means I am not spending money in overly crowded stores. I actually only use Black Friday to get really cheap DVD’s. The doors opened at 4PM so me being me decided to get there by 3PM because well…. I didn’t know how the traffic was going to be and didn’t want to get stuck. I also wanted to make sure that I got good parking near the facility so that when I left that evening I wouldn’t have far to walk since I was going to be walking to a parking garage alone at night. I have watched way too many crime shows to know that bad things can happen in parking garages at night alone especially if you’re a female.
Well I get there, see my husband before he has to go back to work. I then go stand where the crowd is. I have never been to a Wrestlecade before so I wasn’t sure exactly what I was supposed to be doing. So I just stood there alone in against a wall…. Then this old couple came and stood beside. And they started complaining because the first day was going to be upstairs. Then there was going to a day where events were happening on both upstairs and downstairs and the final day would be upstairs. However, this was not listed on the website which then caused the old people to go on quite a long rant about it. Because it was not plainly listed on the website what rooms or where the events were going to be. Which sounded like something you should be complaining about. I mean as a wrestling fan, wouldn’t you just be excited about seeing A LOT of wrestling.
I figured out what I needed to do and where to get my ticket band etc. Then I got in line with everyone else. And I stood there alone… with a little kids pushing my bag into my back….the back that still bothers me from the wreck. I was alone in the line. Trying so hard not to have a panic attack. Trying so hard to be strong. Trying so hard not to cause a scene or make my husband look bad. This is his world and I don’t want to ruin it for him. At all. He does so much for me. He is such an amazing guy. I really want to make sure that he has everything. That he has all the opportunities in the world. So no one in the line wanted to talk to me…. No matter how hard I tried to talk to anyone. They all kind of gave me like one worded responses and then went back to talking to whoever they were with or back to their phones. The wait in the line was LONG. And I don’t do very well standing still. It hurts my hips, back and feet. I know…. I sound like I am just falling apart. I pretty much am. For some reason I have Plantar fasciitis and it flares up quite a bit.
So there I was feeling alone and in my head. It isn’t very pretty inside my head sometimes. Especially when you feel alone, and rejected because people standing in line don’t want to talk to you. So the doors are finally opened and we get to go in and find our seats. So I try to find a seat where I can get some good photos because I feel better behind my camera. But my anxiety was at that extreme point that I wasn’t even feeling like I could take any photos. I was at the point of feeling so closed in and claustrophobic that I was crying and trying to stop crying. I didn’t want to look at my husband. I didn’t want him to know that I was in the middle of an attack or that I was crying because I knew he would have left his post to come to my rescue. He is always coming to my rescue. So I tried so hard to pay attention to the action. And it was a good show. It really was awesome. There is something about independent wrestling that is amazing. It isn’t like the WWE. Independent wrestling like that at Wrestlecade has more freedom. They can be over the top. They can have silly stories or they can have more high flying action than that you see on the WWE. It is just more fan focused. Like they are paying more attention to what we want even if it wasn’t according to plan. The wrestlers will literately change their story or whatever if they think the fans are not enjoying it. I love the indy scene. It is pretty awesome.
However, I was having a pretty bad panic attack and was extremely exhausted at that point. So I left early. I went home. And when I got home… After saying hi to the kids and hugging them. I went in the shower and cried. I let out all of the anxiety and panic that I had tried to hide at the show. But my husband knew. He always knows. He worried the rest of the evening about how I was doing. Which then made me feel worst. Because I wanted him to enjoy being apart of the event.
Since I had that complete meltdown…. I literately got like 2 or 3 hours of sleep. But still wanted to get up and go to the second day of the event. I wanted to show my husband support and I did buy a three day ticket and I really don’t like wasting money. I can be very frugal. Extremely frugal at times. I spend more money on others than I do myself and that can be a downfall. So Saturday was fan fest. Which is really cool. There are a lot of legends that are there. You have the opportunity to meet and greet with all of them. Which is pretty AWESOME. As a wrestling fan…. being able to see all of those legends in the same room at one time is so amazing. A fans dream come true. However, again, I represent my husband. Therefore, I did not lose my cool. I held my composure. And tried not to have a panic attack over being stuck in a small room full of people who happened to bump into me multiple times. I swear I was invisible. Like they could not see me. Therefore just decided to run me over. I then got a message from my mother who was watching our girls for us….. my youngest was not being the best. Therefore, I walked out of the room to do a video call to scold my girl and tell her to behave. After that… I met up with one of our friends who was also kind of sorta working the event but wasn’t assigned to any of the legends so he was free to hang out with me. That made my anxiety feel a lot better. Having someone to talk, to hang out with. Made me feel a little bit at ease. However, after the fan fest we had to go downstairs for the big wrestling event. Where I had to stand in a very long line for a very long time…..surrounded by some fans who were not my favorite people to be standing by. Now I love wrestling fans…they are some of the best people. However, it was something about this one set that kind of sat wrong with me.
The long wait standing non stop hurt. It doesn’t help that I wanted to be fashionable and cute because I represent my husband and I wore shoes that were cute but not comfortable. If your shoes are not comfy and cause you pain…then the rest of your body will be in pain….which it was. I also noticed that my phone battery was extremely LOW and one of the last messages I had gotten from my mother was that my girls were warm and also had no drinks left…. and then my battery DIED. Not even half way into the event. So….Motherhood comes first and I ditched the show. And missed probably the best matches. I mean Vampiro did a casket match and so many other great matches. My husband was doing a job where he couldn’t check his phone so once I got to my car and plugged my phone up… I messaged our friend to let him know…. Saturday was one better for me on the sense of mental illness. It is also the busiest day of Wrestlecade. I think the most fans come out for this. So while I didn’t have as big of an attack as Friday, I was still very anxious.
Sunday was mostly wrestling. As in there were two different promotions running. There was Queens of Combat which is an all female promotion which I thought was badass and then there was the event that I was excited about which was the AML Wrestling event. I thankfully managed to get in line around fans who were really open and talkative and really cool. Then I ended up sitting next to one of those fans for the event which really helped me out. It also helped that my husband actually worked my section. So I got to be near him as well. Which was amazing and I loved it.
I swear I love the independent wrestling scene. Wrestlecade was an amazing event and I think that the people who put it together are fantastic. They work really hard to put on a great show. I would most def recommend it to anyone and everyone. Especially if you’re a wrestling fan. However, it only takes place in North Carolina. But I swear it is worth the travel. It is worth it. I debated on writing this because I didn’t want to make it sound like the event was bad. Like it wasn’t a good event. Because it was so amazing. I loved it…. This post was more about my anxiety. My crazy, awful anxiety that sometimes scares the crap out of me. I need to let the wrestling people into my world. I need to open up to them because they’re apart of my husbands world and maybe, just maybe if I do…then I won’t feel so anxious.