Don’t rescue

One of the hardest things that I find about being a parent is wanting to save my kids from everything. I grew up with a single mom and was left with my olders brothers a lot. Who in turned left me home alone a lot. Therefore, I wasn’t saved from a lot of the issues that I had to deal with that had lasting affect. Therefore, I want to save my kids from a lot of the things that could cause a lasting affect on them. Which is always why we’ve cut certain family members out of their lives…. even though said family members are going to social media to bash us every single chance that they get. (When you ignore one child in favor of the other… you will get called out on it…..and when you resort to acting like a child instead of apologizing….then you will get cut out)

However, how can kids grow into successful adults if you’re constantly saving them from their battles when they’re a kid? This is something that I am struggling with and learning to do every single day. So this is for me as well as any other parent. We need to teach our kids how to handle things so that when they’re older or even if they face situations like this in school, in public or at their grandparents….they will know how to handle it. We also need to teach our kids how to politely ask for help instead of demanding that we do it.
I am having that issue with my youngest nephew. Only because as a little toddler I didn’t make him act a certain way or say certain things so he grew accustomed to that…..now he is set in this behaviour and I am working on changing it. It is a learning process for both of us, actually.

Show your kids how to handle the things that no one showed you how to do. It will help them grow into great teenagers and even better adults. I understand that sometimes it is just easier to do it for them. Like there are so many situations where I am like, okay I’ll do this for you. Then they aren’t learning how to do it. They are depending on you to do it every single time. Instead, take two seconds to show them how to handle the situation. For instance, my kid is 7. She gets hungry in the morning. Usually while I am running around getting her bookbag together, cause I might have forgotten to sign her agenda. Or I am packing her lunch, picking up clothes….etc. She would come while I am in the middle of something…and want food. Then I would be like okay stop what I am doing go pop an Eggo in the toaster and wait… However, one day I was like hmmm. What if I move the toaster forward where she can reach it. So I did. I pulled her into the kitchen and asked her to get an Eggo…. She went grabbed it and was going to hand it to me… Instead, I told her to go towards the toaster. I said, do you see those two slots? -yes. Why don’t you put that Eggo in one of them? -ok… Now push the lever down. -ok. now you wait. It took just a few seconds of one day. Now every morning, I slide the toaster forward where she can get to it. And when she’s up in the morning and wants something to eat. She grabs her Eggo and pops it into the toaster. A simple thing. And now she knows what to do.

Advertisements

Categories: anxiety, parenting

Tagged as: , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: