I feel weird

Okay so the other day I decided to do a test run for some fudge that I am planning on sending to my husband’s first show. My anxiety is like you need to make sure this turns out ahead of time instead of it failing the day of.

So I of course go to the store and buy everything that I need. Come home and start to make it. However this calls for me to roll the fudge into individual circles right before it hardens. Its white chocolate fudge with jack skellington face drawn on. Its almost Halloween the show is just a few days before Halloween So I thought that it would be a great idea.

Unfortunately I have issues. Like major big time issues. Once I start rolling the fudge… It starts sticking to my hands and my fingers and I have almost a complete meltdown. I hurry to the sink and stand there washing my hands over and over for 5 minutes. My mom is over and she was at the sink when I asked her to move and I am pretty sure she is concerned about me now.

But this isn’t the first time like this has happened and I have done a fantastic job of making sure very few people have seen my freak outs. Its to the point that I cannot out my hand in sink water that’s been left sitting for a period of time or touch anything slimey. Also if gloves or socks are too tight I spazz because it feels like they are constricted.

I never knew what this meant. I just thought I was a weird person. That is until I was talking to my best friend about my freak out and she told me its called sensory processing disorder. Her and her autistic son have it. So now I finally have a name for the thing that makes my skin crawl and a panic attack ensue. But I still feel weird

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Categories: anxiety

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