Change the end

 

You can’t change the beginning of a story… But you can change the end

I had a rough childhood. Not as rough as some and my brothers like to think that I had it easy because I was spoiled. I have explained to so many people that my spoiled was completely different than normal. I grew up on food stamps. Once a month, I would be able to get whatever cereal and name brand drinks. My brothers had to do odd jobs like raking leaves to help pay the bills. I didn’t because I was under 10 years old. I did however have to do my oldest brothers chores beacuse he was a douche who like to bully his younger siblings. I also had to do his long division homework when I was in the third grade because he just didn’t want to do it. I had to write his essays or spell check his homework. But both my brothers left home by the time they were 16-17. I didn’t. In fact, my mom has been a constant part of my life. We have been homeless in an abandoned house together.

I cannot change any of that. I wish I could. I wish I could have changed things so my mom wouldn’t feel the way she did when she couldn’t provide for us the way she had hoped. But I can’t.

I can, however, change my now. Change the end. And change where I am going.

You cannot change how you were raised. Where you were raised. How things were in the past. But don’t let that stop you from changing where you are going. If you’re not happy with how things are right now. You have the power to change it. You may not have the financial means to significantly change things. But you can change your outlook. You can change the way you see things. You can work on having a better attitude. Instead of waking up with the I don’t wanna work attitude or just a bad attitude in general. You can wake up and set a happy goal for the day. You can wake up and do something that makes you happy before having to go to work. For instance, when I worked at a call center. I used to love the job until the director left and we got a new one who was not the best person in the world. She always seemed to not like me and it made me resent my job. I would be upset every day I had to work. I would take any opportunity to leave early that was offered. However, the days where I got up extra early and was able to go get a frozen mocha. The caffeine and sugar delicious would make me feel a little better. I would blast some music on the way to work and I would start the day off in a good mood.

I don’t like my weight and I haven’t for a very long time. I was in a car accident when I was pregnant with my second child. This put a lot of pain on my body and I was practically on bedrest the whole pregnancy. I gained a lot of weight and it has been very hard to get rid of it. I cannot change the fact that I was on bed rest. I cannot change the fact that I gained a lot of weight during my last pregnancy. But what I can change….is today…tomorrow….next week. By eating right. Eating more veggies. Watching what I eat. And going to the gym. My husband and I have decided that going to the gym twice a week is a great start. Going slow. I have bad ankles and a bad knee from injuries from when I was younger. my hips and back are messed up from the wreck. Therefore, slow and steady wins the race. I can slowly build up the muscles in these areas so that I can gradually build up my endurance and then I can start losing weight….the right way. I can change the end of my story. And I choose to start today. Are you ready to change your story?

Advertisements

Categories: anxiety

Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: