Not a babysitter
One thing that drives me insane is when people ask me if my husband will watch the kids. Like he has to be coaxed into spending time with the kids. Like he is some kind of baby sitter.
That is what kills me in today’s society. The mom’s are expected to devote their entire life to their kids. But when the mom wants to do something without their kids, they’re supposed to ask the father to babysit.
Like oh do you think their dad will watch them while you go out and do something. Or will their dad watch them while you go to work or to a friends.
That is not how things work in my family.
My husband is a dad, not a BABYSITTER.
When I need to run errands, and lets face it, errands are so much easier when its without the kids. Especially with a toddler. The getting them in and out of the car and carrying them into the store or place where you need to go is hard. Or going to the doctor. That isn’t something you want to do with a kid. But when there are things I need to do without the kids or things I want to do without them. I don’t ask my husband to babysit his kids. We talk about it.
Hey, I have plans for this Friday at 7pm. His response isn’t I guess I’ll watch the kids. No. He actually wants me to do things. He says go have fun. There is no asking him to watch OUR kids.
Being a dad means you share responsibilities for your kids. Being a dad means that you are there for your kids. You spend time with them, you make sure they have clean clothes, you make sure they eat. You are THERE. Not because the mom asked you to watch them.
See, my dad wasn’t a dad and he definitely wasn’t a babysitter because he was never around. So I knew that when I had kids it was going to be with someone who actually wanted to spend time with his kids. Not as a babysitter but as a daddy. Someone who wanted to have alone time with them. Daddy daughter days. Luckily, I found that. My husband is a dad. He never has to babysit his kids. It is his responsibility to be there for them just like it is mine. When he wants to do things he doesn’t ask if I will watch the kids. We discuss things. He tells me he wants to have plans with said friend or do something and asks if I have any plans that day. He doesn’t ask permission to go. That’s not what I am implying. He makes sure that I don’t have to go do anything.