Don’t call me a SAHM

 

Don’t get me wrong. I loved being a stay at home mom. Like really loved it. It was the best thing for me at that time and for what we were going thru.

However, I wanted to get a job so that we could have a little more spending money. So I got a job. Yes, it is a work from home job. But it is still work.

When you tell anyone you’re a stay at home mom, there is a lot of heat. A lot of hate. A lot of judgement and you’re looked down upon.

I’ve seen it first hand on many occasions. A lot of people thought that all I did was sit on my behind watching tv….all day long. And it infuriated me. To no end.

Seriously.

When I was pregnant with my youngest. It was a rough pregnancy. Really rough and high risk. The doctor told me on many occasions that I needed to sit down with my feet up as much as possible.

Well it helped that I wasn’t working at that time and that I was a SAHM.

But what people didn’t realize is that I had a 4 year old at home and my husband worked almost 12 plus hours 5 to 6 days a week. So he couldn’t actually make sure that I was resting and he couldn’t exactly work all of those hours, get adequate sleep, spend time with his kid and handle the housework. There was just no way that I could be the bed rest type of pregnant with everything that was going on.

So while I was supposed to be off my feet as much as possible for my health and my unborn child’s help. I wasn’t. And that is okay. I really loved being able to make sure that everything was taken care of, bill wise, errands and food. I still love doing that. I clean all the time. I am the sole cooker in the family. I love cooking. I love spending time with my kids. I love making sure that my husband can rest after he’s had a long rough day at work.

I love being a mom. And I love being a mom that’s home. Because when I did work outside of the home…. I was rarely home. Things were very hectic and my oldest barely saw either of her parents. When I told her I was going back to work…..she cried. Because she didn’t want to have to go without seeing me like she did when she was younger. It really broke me for her to remember how little she saw me. However, I reassured her that it is from home. That I can still see her a lot. That it won’t be like the last time. That it will only be for a little bit a day.

That made her okay with the transition.

So why do I not want to be called a Stay at home mom????

It is simple. Everyone thinks that stay at home moms do NOTHING all day. They think that we’re lazy. What’s worse is that there are some people that assume that you’re from the 1950’s wearing pleated skirts and that your whole entire life is dedicated to your husband first your kids second and then your home.

I am sorry. I don’t know how many times that I have heard something to that extent of ‘Isn’t that what a wife is SUPPOSED to do’….. Supposed to?!? Really?

No. I stay at home because I want to. Because we were able to afford it. Because it made sense with everything that was going on at the time. Not because I was supposed to

When you get married you go from I to we. You go from fighting alone to being a team. We are a team, my husband and I. We work together. There is no one that pulls more weight than the other. There is no his money or my money. There are no his chores or my chores. There is our money, our problems, our chores. OUR.

I don’t want to be called a stay at home mom because I am tired of being placed into this ridiculous box of a stereotype that is no longer relevant.

I am a mom. That is my greatest achievement and that is what I will be called from now on. If anyone wants to challenge it….and try to call me a stay at home mom. I will kindly educate them on how woman are more than what they are assuming.

Have you ever asked a mom what she does in a day? It is way more than just sitting on their behind all day.

There is the school year. Which tends to be more hectic than school vacations. Especially when your kid wears glasses because sometimes they might forget their glasses. In which you’ll have to drive back to the school to drop them off and if you have a toddler at home you have to load them in and out of the car. There are lunches, homework, field trips, fundraiser, after school events, conferences, eating lunch at school with them. There are so many things that you do with school its not even funny.

And that is not including if your kid is a car rider because you have to drop them off and pick them back up.

Food. If you have a toddler at home you have 3 meals a day that you must prepare. Two of which the other kid isn’t home for. Then there are snack time. You have to get the toddler down for their nap and try to teach them something new. Because you want your kid to be ahead of the game. Even if its just the ABC’s. I, at least, try every single day to try to teach something to my kids. During the summer, my oldest has ‘homework’ where she has to read or do some simple math problems.

There are always some type of errand to run, some bill to pay. Groceries to shop for. Doctor visits. Cleaning is a daily thing if you don’t have kids. But if you have kids it is more like an hourly thing. Especially with a 2 year old.

As a mom, you kiss boo boo’s, you look for monsters. You read stories. You are the first point of contact with the kids. Or at least my kids. They will pass their daddy to ask me first.

I am way more than a stay at home mom.

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Categories: parenting, Uncategorized

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