Like a Fitted Sheet

There are hundreds and hundreds of books on parenting.

These books are like snowflakes. They are all the same from a distant, but each one is unique.

Why is that?

Well that is because, Parenting is like folding a fitted sheet.

No one really knows how the hell to do it.

Not properly that is.

I mean who came up with the idea of makeing a fitted sheet?

Did they think, ‘hey lets make something that infuriates mothers that cannot be folded.’

Seriously.

Parenting is hard.

It is even harder if you are dealing with a brain that doesn’t have the right chemistry balance. (anxiety, depression any other mental illness)

My mom had three kids. We each grew up differently.

Why?

because of the parenting

My mom was always told to give my oldest brother slack. Give him some room. Well you know that saying you give them an inch and they’ll take a mile? that was my brother. Seriously. He was destructive.

So she got more strict with my other brother. but not too strict. He turned out ok. actually I think he’s the best of us all.

But he did some things that werenot the greatest.

So my mom became overly strict with me. To the point that I always said.I’m not my brothers!!!!

Now I am trying to give my girls the security we didn’t always have. We grew up poor. Sometimes we didn’t have food. Sometimes we didn’t have running water. My mom was a struggling single mom of 3 with a dead beat husband who skipped state so he wouldn’t have to pay child support.

So I never want my kids to know what it is like to want and need food or water. I never want them to know what it is like to feel hunger to the point of nausea.

However, my oldest knows how to push that anxiety mode in my head.

i have stated before that my kids don’t hear me unless I raise my voice. But when i single out my oldest because she’s done something like push her sister or something awful. she gets this look on her face or she starts crying. It is the look. That look like you know she’s going to grow up into an axious adult who will need tons of therapy. (now this is probably my anxiety talking making me fear the worse) However, it still kills me.

My youngest will cry for five minutes and be over it.

I am so worried that I am not a good parent all the time.

But then there are times when my kids tell me I am the best mom and I feel awesome.

I’ve seen hovering parents, I’ve seen absent parents. I have seen so many types of parental styles.

It’s like a fitted sheet. no one really knows the proper way or who is to say there is a proper way anyhow?

Thanks for listening to a random ramble post.

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Categories: Uncategorized

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