Need a Break

My anxiety consists of my brain never turning off. I can ask my husband what he’s thinking about and he’ll say nothing. But if he asks me….there is always something.

Actually, if I am being honest, my thoughts are pretty ADHD. There is always multiple things on my mind.

Like right now…. I am thinking about my father in law and that thought isn’t too pretty at the moment. I am thinking about how we still haven’t spread my dads ashes. I need to go grocery shopping. I need a nap. Stupid allergy’s to milk (and no its not tummy issues, my allergy makes me itchy…really itchy) How I was so careless to consume so many milk based products on such in such a short time period. I am thinking about school and how am I going to finish paying for it. Since I pretty much ran out of financial aid for it. I am freaking out about the upcoming warped tour because its so many people in a small facility. I am thinking about if I am a good enough parent, friend, wife, child.

And all that is running in my head right now. My attention span is really small. Like really short. Shorter than a fuse. In the 10th grade my Algebra 2 teacher use to switch subjects every 3-5 minutes. One day, a student asked why and she told them it was because of me. Because if she spent any more than 10 minutes on a problem, she would lose my attention.

Everyone always say they need a vacation from their life. To go away to the beach and be free of their problems for just a little bit.

Unfortunately, even when I am on vacation I am constantly overthinking, over analyzing every single thing. Even if I am 3 hours away from home. My mind is consumed with what is going on. What I will need to do when I get home

Yes, a vacation to the beach would be nice. But what I really need is a vacation, a break from my own thoughts.

I would love to know what it was like to not think about anything even if it was just for a few moments. I hate it. Honestly, I do. Because the more I think about something, the more anxious I become. My brother always tells me ‘well don’t think about it’. If only it was that easy. I try to mediate. I tried yoga. I tried taking walks. I tried the showers and the baths. I have tried everything. And I can never turn my thoughts off.

Is there some way to create an off switch??? I wish I knew. Cause I could really use a break.

Published by

AnxiousMother

Anxiety can be a battle, but you don't have to go it alone. Plus I like to cook, take photographs and review shows

69 thoughts on “Need a Break”

          1. Haha I actually use to like the 90’s soap called Passions. It has Kevin from This Is Us. Justin Heartly. Which I love This Is Us. It pulls at all of your emotions and most of the actors I have loved from something else. Like Jack (Milo Ventimilga *thats probably wrong*) I watched him in Gilmor Girls…well still do because I watch GG every day because its something I have seen before and I can just put it on for the noise. Kevin (justin Heartly) I watched in Passions and Smallville. Rebecca (Mandy Moore) I remember her sing stupid cupid in Princess Diaries. and Randal (Sterling K. Brown) was in Army wives

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          2. And how did the parents know that these kids have some kind of superpower?? why are the parents not shown and why are the parents not more strict on their kids. And how is NO ADULT seeing any of this? I mean their battles are out in the town on the street. it makes no sense. How old are these kids anyway? and what is a PJ Mask? Is it some kind of mask you put on to go to sleep?

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          3. I let my kids watch tv thru out the day as long as it is something that will teach them something like Bubble Guppies and Team Umi Zoomi. Although there are a lot of quesstions about Paw Patrol I do like the concept of team work and helping that it promotes.

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          4. Our TV is normally on all day just not on kids channels. Although it is tough trying to find something that is age appropriate for him at 3pm in the afternoon which is stupid. I just can’t watch children’s TV for long periods of time, although I must admit Netflix has helped

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  1. Watch true crime shows. That’s what I do. To turn my brain off. I don’t know why that works. Or baking shows, because the all you are thinking about is where can I go to get some of that tasty stuff. It sucks having a brain that’s always in overdrive!!!

    Like

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