Day 7

Okay guys….so it is technically day 7 of my squat challenge. Which means I have been doing 100 squats every day since Valentines day.

Well… you remember how I said I didn’t feel anything…..

Well after a few days I really started to feel it. Not so much when I walk or sit. But I could feel a little bit of tension and pain when I would do my squats.

Now around day  2 or 3 I cut some string to match perfectly around my butt and thigh. What this means is that the ends of the strings touch exactly. No overlap.

Now since I don’t have a tape measure like they use in sewing, I only have the kind you would use to measure things with like the wall. I figured this would give me an accurate measure of progress.

And well… Day 2 or 3 the strings matched exactly… Day 7….there is a small overlap of string. Which means the measurements of my legs is starting to slim down.

I can’t tell you how excited that makes me. I know its like a couple centimeters and all. But it is progress. I haven’t been able to lose weight in a very long time. A VERY LONG TIME.

I have fat thighs. I have always had fat thighs. and having kids only made it worse. Toning down my thighs is a very difficult thing. My thighs are one of the many reasons why I have low self esteem. And low self esteem adds to the anxiety and stress. Going out in public, I have always worn pants and capri’s. Even swimming. I cannot wear anything short. My thighs look gross and fat and full of cellulite. This last summer I went swimming with my nephews quite a bit. I wore a tank top and yoga capri’s because I didn’t want to show to much or be flabbing around. I cannot wear a bikini top around my nephews. I just don’t feel comfortable showing that much boobs to these young boys. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way.

But I mean I am their aunt. they are getting older and I really just wouldn’t show that much boob around any young boy. Or at all. My brother (my nephews dad) Not the other brother that can be a punk. This brother always told me you dress the way you want to be treated. You carry yourself the way you want to be treated. If you go around dressing in sleazy clothes acting like you’re easy… Then that is how you are going to be treated. He didn’t mean it in a mean manner. Even though that is how most people take it. He meant it so that I could be safe. He didn’t want others to take advantage of me based upon what I wore or acted. He wanted me to be strong and confident.

What he didn’t know is that my anxiety… and my low self esteem… yeah it took this advice and turned it into. I’m fat and ugly and must cover up always.

But
i am getting way off topic.

The squat challenge is working…. it is a little painful. But it is working. I can’t wait to see the end results.. I am so impatient.

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Categories: anxiety, Uncategorized

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