All the small things

I know I usually post about what a crap day I’ve had or the anxiety issues I’ve had….

But not right now

Nope

This is one of those small victories.

You know the kind that make you feel good

That brighten your day

Ok

So

I had a crap day yesterday. We rescued a dog and thought it was going to be a great fit. He’s cute. He’s calm. He’s house trained. But he always seemed to be jealous of our toddler. He took food from her. He kind of growled at her when she was eating. Easy fix right? You can train a dog to not do that or at least put him up when it’s time for us to eat.

All of the jealousy I could handle.

I could deal with it.

What I couldn’t deal with is him trying to bite my toddler when all she was doing was watching tv on the floor. Not near him. Not bothering him. I somehow managed to get a hold of him before he could bite her and it sent my anxiety thru the roof. I started shaking and sobbing once I had put him up. Like how did I get there in time? What if I hadn’t? Like I said crap day.

So I had to go to the store anyway to buy supplies for my older daughters project and seen that there was a clearance on clothes. Because of course in the middle of February they bring out spring crap.

Uhm…..its still cold.

So I bought pants in my anxiety mess because idk. Honestly i. Don’t. Know

So this morning I take a shower and decide I’m going to wear one of the new pants that I had gotten only to realize I had bought a size smaller than I normally get.

And they fit.

Now any other mom out there knows that after your second kid…its a miracle if you can get back to your pre kid weight.

And since the wreck….exercising is difficult…

If I do too much…im in pain for days. So I really have to be careful and listen to my body.

Which means I’m fat.

According to the weight charts in all the doctors offices i am obese.

Its depressing to even think about.

But it’s the truth.

But I’m not going to let that stop my win for today. I fit in a smaller size than I’ve been wearing. Yeah I still have 4 sizes to go to be back to my high school weight but hey….this is my victory.

And it is the small things that matter. That can mean the most. As Brandon Lee in the crow said:

“The little things use to mean so much to Shelley. I use to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me nothing is trivial”

Here’s the link to that quote in the movie nothing is trivial

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Categories: anxiety, Uncategorized

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