You Don’t Have to be anyone’s Cure
Okay. Well this is a saying that I personally have a hard time putting into effect. You are not obligated to be anyone’s cure. Especially if you suffer from a mental illness.
The thing is. You are already battling your own mind. 24/7. You are the strongest person around just by getting up and fighting the same battle that kept you up last night. So why should you be anyone else’s cure.
See. I cannot help it. Personally. I have this inner urge to save anyone and everyone. I have actually dated someone because a part of me felt like I could save them. And it was a waste of time. You cannot save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Just like you can’t help someone unless they want to help themselves.
The rational part of me thinks ‘hey, I have my own family to worry about. The only people that should be on my priority list are my kids, my husband followed by my mom and nephews/nieces. (because well they’re kids, you should always have time for kids.) I am actually extremely close to my nephews. I treat them as if they were my own kids.
But the irrational part of me thinks ‘I can do this! I can help EVERYONE’ even though the more I push myself, the more I am damaging not only my mental health but my physical health as well. Because it never fails, the people who are always calling for help…..always call late at night or early in the wee hours of the morning. And I feel obligated to go. They need me. They have no one else. And here my friends is where I allow myself to be used.
It actually has taken a lot of time to grow a backbone to say NO. I cannot do it. I have other obligations. My family comes first. And even now….. that I can say no… It takes a while for me to get to that point. I think that it is the empathy part of me that just gives and gives and gives. But when I start feeling like they are abusing my empathy, my trust, my helping hand and become greedy…. that is when I say no. I pull back. I stop being that person for them. Then I kick myself for being too ‘mean’ but sometimes tough love is needed (or at least that is what my mom says)
Although you, or I, feel like we can save the world. That we should save the world. We are not obligated to be anyone’s cure. we are, however, obligated to take care of ourselves first because you cannot fill anyone else’s cup if you’re running on empty. We are like a car. We cannot run if we don’t have the gas.
So……even if it is just for 5 minutes… Try to take those 5 minutes to relax and recharge your batteries.