#Lyrics Broken Home-Papa Roach

Broken home, all alone
Broken home, all alone
I can’t seem to fight these feelings
I’m caught in the middle of this
And my wounds are not healing
I’m stuck in between my parents
I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone I could confide in
I just want to know the truth
I just want to know the truth
Want to know the truth!
Broken home
All alone
I know my mother loves me
But does my father even care?
If I’m sad or angry
You were never ever there
When I needed you
I hope you regret what you did
I think I know the truth
Your father did the same to you
Did the same to you!
I’m crying day and night now
What is wrong with me?
I cannot fight now
I feel like a weak link
Crying day and night now
What is wrong with me?
I cannot fight now
I feel like a weak link
(Push it back inside) 4X
A weak link
Broken home, all alone
It feels bad to be alone
Crying by yourself living in a broken home
How could I tell it?
So all y’all could feel it
Depression strikes hard just like my old earth would tell it
To me, her son, she told me I’m the one
Pain bottled up, ’bout to blow like a gun
Stories that I tell
Are nonfiction
And you can’t take it back ’cause it’s already done
BROKEN HOME! BROKEN HOOOOME!
Can’t seem to fight these feelings
Caught in the middle of this
My wounds are not healing
Stuck in between my parents
BROKEN HOME! BROKEN HOOOOME!
This song is about divorce. Although my parents never got divorced, they were separated for pretty much all of my life, until the day my dad passed away. Since I never really lived with my father, that I can remember I know I did when I was a baby, I technically come from a broken home.
What made things worse was the fact that the constant male figures in my life typically left. My oldest brother always left. He won’t say he did. He ran away when he was 16 and from then on he was only around every couple of years. It is actually very surprising that he’s been in the same state since 2011.
It was a broken home, but it was my home. I have one brother who sees the positive and one that see only negative. I’m kind of in between.

#Lyrics Bullet-Hollywood Undead


style=”color: #000080;”>The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I’ll slit my wrists again and I’m gone, gone, gone,
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn’t work again,
I’ll put a bullet in my head and I’m gone, gone, gone.

Gone too far and yeah I’m gone again,
It’s gone on too long, tell you how it ends,
I’m sitting on the edge with my two best friends,
Ones a bottle of pills, ones a bottle of gin,
I’m twenty stories up, yeah I’m up at the top,
I’ll polish off this bottle, now it’s pushing me off,
Asphalt to me has never looked so soft,
I bet my momma found my letter, now shes calling the cops,
I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it,
‘Cause now I hear the sirens and they’re off in the distance,
Believe me when I tell you that I’ve been persistent,
‘Cause I’m more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is,
I’ve been trying too long, with too dull of a knife,
But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice,
I never bought a suit before in my life,
But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.

So if I survive, then I’ll see you tomorrow,
Yeah I’ll see you tomorrow.

My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I’ll slit my wrists again and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone,
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn’t work again,
I’ll put a bullet in my head and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone.

We hit the sky, there goes the light,
No more sun, why’s it always night
When you can’t sleep, well, you can’t dream,
When you can’t dream, well, whats life mean?
We feel a little pity, but don’t empathize
The old are getting older, watch a young man die,
A Mother and a Son and someone you know,
Smile at each other and realize you don’t,
You don’t know what happened to that kid you raised,
What happened to the Father, who swore he’d stay?
I didn’t know ’cause you didn’t say,
Now Momma feels guilt, yea Momma feels pain,
When you were young, you never thought you’d die,
Found that you could but too scared to try,
You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye,
Climb to the roof to see if you could fly.

So if I survive, then I’ll see you tomorrow,
Yeah I’ll see you tomorrow.

My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,
I think I’ll slit my wrists again and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone,
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn’t work again,
I’ll put a bullet in my head and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone.

I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,
Like a bird so high,
Oh I might just try,
I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,
Like a bird so high,
Oh I might just try,
Oh I might just try.

This song is about suicide. But its in a different form that I have heard before. You see, I have that person in my life who threatens suicide all the time. So I kind of hear them in this song. Yes, Suicide is not something that should be joked about. And I don’t think they are making a joke of it.

I think it is more about wanting to be able to talk about suicide but currently its so dark and twisted to even mention the words so they tried to put it to an upbeat backing music.

Either way, Hollywood Undead is an interesting band. They’re not normal.

Mindful and mindless

Having a mental illness like anxiety can be tiresome. If you’re anything like me, your mind is on overdrive 24/7. Which can lead to some sleepless nights, my bags under my eyes are starting to get their own bags and extend up the side of my nose creeping towards to the top of my eyes. It’s sad really. I honestly need some sleep. Maybe just one day, all day. I once slept 13 hours. I was 15. My mom was really worried. But I was just tired.

So, for your health’s sake, it is important that you find mindful and mindless activities. This means to do things that lessen your anxiety.

I can’t remember where I read that coloring is a great activity to reduce anxiety and stress, but it does. I mean if you can focus on it long enough. Or if you’re like me, you try to color but have 2 kids who love to be glued to you. So much so that you have to wait til nap time or any other time they’re otherwise distracted to do anything on the computer.

There are a number of things that you could do before an attack that could prevent one. Grounding exercise, meditation, anything. I read once that laying on your back with your feet up on the wall is great for many things. You can do leg exercises without squats, relieve stress, relieve migraines and I found it to be great at calming the body down. It looks weird but if it works it works. You should give it a try and let me know what you think.

Another great anti anxiety activity idea came from the show Grey’s Anatomy. Have you seen it? Well Christina and Meredith do this thing called dance it out. It allows you to just let loose, dance however you want and just burn off that additional energy/adrenaline that anxiety attacks always bring our bodies. Also, music has always been thought of as a therapeutic technique. (or at least it has in my book)

#lyrics Gravity-Papa Roach

I was there on the day truth died
Blood on my hands, throw them up in the sky
I was a number one sinner no less
My life was a lie and my wish was a death
I fell in love with the ways of the world
Money and the fame, the booze and the girls
But I couldn’t stay faithful if I tried
I’d turn into a devil you could see it in my eyes
I blacked out, told you everything I ever did
I couldn’t take all the lies I was living with
I broke your heart, broke up the next day
My bags outside yelling get the hell away
You’re not a husband, not a father just a pig
And you can never change all the things that you did
That’s when I knew it, it wouldn’t last
You’ll never get away when you’re running from the past

And we fly… 
Fly into outer space 
I float away but you’re my gravity
Die to love another day
We rise again and lose our gravity 

I’m a broken man, I’m full of sin
I’m sick of all this hell that I’m livin’ in
I can’t escape it – this is how it feels
When you try to numb the pain with a thousand pills
You tore me down and wished that I was dead
Said you wanna sleep alone in another bed
But when I push you away, you only pull me closer
It’s only over when we both wanna say it’s over
I gotta change – this is not who I am 
I wanna start over, wanna try this again
You’re everything I need, everything I’m not
So pull the trigger give me one more shot

And we fly… 
Fly into outer space 
I float away but you’re my gravity
Die to love another day
We rise again and lose our gravity

You love me You hate me
You kiss me You break me
You lifted me up just to watch as you dropped me
You promised me – looked me straight in the eyes
No matter what you say – I don’t know the truth from the lies
I held you up like I always do 
I forgave you for your sins and I carried you through
No matter how hard we fall
We always knew
You will bleed for me, and I will bleed for you

And we fly… 
Fly into outer space 
I float away but you’re my gravity
Die to love another day
We rise again and lose our gravity 

And we fly… 
Fly into outer space 
I float away but you’re my gravity
Die to love another day
We rise again and lose our gravity 

And we fly… 
Fly into outer space 
I float away but you’re my gravity
Die to love another day
We rise again and lose our gravity 

Baby we can float away

The rap parts are about the dark times in the singer’s marriage and how anyone going through this struggle can make it if they love each other.

I’m not sure if I have ever heard of a perfect couple. I thought I knew one until I found out some of their problems. Marriage or any type of relationship is really hard. You have to really work at it every single day.

And if you’re in a relationship with anxiety, its harder.  You’re constantly insecure and if your significant other isn’t understanding or helpful then you’re relationship becomes just that much harder.

 

Don’t want to remember

‘I don’t know about you or how your anxiety affects you. But mine? Yeah mine is quite awful. Sometimes, for no reason, I remember things I really don’t want to.

There is one specific event from when I was around 5 that I have spent many many years trying to forget. But then there are times where I will get ‘flashbacks’ and my day is ruined.

It doesn’t even have to be something that severe. I can have ‘flashbacks’ from things I have said. Which is what happens the most. I can be sitting on the couch watching tv or working on some school work and remember something stupid I said 2 weeks ago and then my night is ruined because I cannot think about anything but what I did.

What is sad is that I think I spend the most time trying to make sure that I don’t do anything stupid. Which if you’ve ever been that way you know that it makes you look like a fool as well. Like walking on eggshells trying to not break them.

#Lyrics The Sound of Silence-Disturbed

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

Fools, said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence

 

Considering that I know Disturbed is most famous for  their Down with the sickness song…this is a great turn of events. this is a cover song. But it is so powerful. The low octave of his voice really just gives me chills.

I know that the original written by Simon and Garfunkel was about a man’s lack of communication with his fellow man. There has been a lot of speculation that this song was about the Vietnam war, tho.

However, I find that the way Disturbed honored this song completely goes along with how Depression is. How it feels.

Don’t suffer in silence 

There’s so much stigma around mental illness, it’s ridiculous honestly. I’m not even sure why 20% of Americans should feel like a burden because of a chemical imbalance in their brains, seriously. When you look at all the stigma (its everywhere, especially social media) It is no wonder why thousands upon thousands of Americans (and all over) suffer in silence.

We really shouldn’t have to though. Unfortunately, until the stigma ends, many will.

However, I think it is very important that anyone who has a mental illness has at least one person that they can talk to without any judgement.

I have 2 (3 if you count my husband wanting to help) Well my 2 is more like 1 1/2 because one is super busy.

My other 1 has a mental illness too. I’m her person and she’s mine. She told me once that just being able to hang out and talk lightened her mood. So you see having that kind of friendship is extremely important.

No one should ever suffer in silence. So if you need a person to talk to.. I’ll listen just drop a comment.