I think anyone who has anxiety disorder knows that our mind is quite honesty our own worst enemy. However, I feel like another issue with having anxiety is that no one seems to understand. And when you try to explain, it’s like explaining chemistry to a 1st grader.
If that doesn’t give you a visual, I would like for you to explain chemical reactions, covalent bonds and anything else you would learn in chemistry (which I took when I was 17) to a 6 year old.
Not as easy as it sounds huh?
My family hasn’t always been understanding. In fact, I feel like the majority of my family is in denial. Because they simply cannot comprehend how I can look so normal but have something wrong with my head. I feel like if I had a heart problem then they would understand. But because we live in this stigma filled world, I doubt they will ever understand. And honestly, I doubt they would even care to understand. I have a lot of family who are self centered. If it’s not about them….forget about it.
So….I pretend. Around them. I pretend I am ok. There is so much that make up and a smile can hid. Do I wish more people were accepting? Yes, that is why I keep posting…keep getting my voice out there.
Do I really think that I will have a band of followers like Talinda Bennington or any other celebrity that is making mental illness their journey? No. I really don’t. I am nobody. I live in a small town. I am a small voice. As small as a mouse. A squeak. But I do have 50 followers. And I am very thankful that they think my rants are worth following. (Thank you guys! you are my heroes)
But I think that one day….if we work together. If we keep getting our voice out there. If we keep telling people about our normal. That we are not like them and that it is ok. Then one day. we will break the stigma.