Can’t recover

Again… the stigmas that surround things such as depression and anxiety (just to name a few) are so heavy. Seriously. These are things that we hear from people every single day. Why are you so anxious. Just stay calm. Don’t think about it.

If I could not think for a moment. I would be happy. My brain doesn’t have an off switch and I am not even sure why. Like why can I not think about nothing. Why is my brain always running like it has nothing but coffee for 7 straight days. You think I enjoy thinking about every little thing? Is that car going to slow down? Did I remember to turn the oven off? Lets turn the car around to check. It is difficult to have a brain that is always running.

So now please tell me how I can just stay calm? I have tried meditating. I have tried yoga. I have tried everything I can possibly think of without being medicated to relax, to be calm, to not think as much. And guess what… it doesn’t work.

Like now for instance. I thought we were going to get this thing and we were going to buy a house and everything was going to start looking up…. but theres a catch. We might not be able to get what we wanted exactly. Now I don’t want a home where I have to fix a lot of things….I would end up in the emergency room. I am not handy…at all….and neither is my husband.

So when I get the call today that says hey this house that you love. you won’t be able to get unless you can provide that you have more income than what you’re showing…#%@%!!! That’s what I get for getting my hopes up right. But then there’s that voice in my head that says….see I told you… Too good to be true… Knew it would all fall apart….then I just want to cry and get depressed because well that’s what happens. I will pull myself out of it and still be careful about getting overly excited. Its when I get overly excited that nothing ever goes my way…

You see having anxiety and depression together is hell. You’re scared all the time or second guessing everything and when the slightest thing goes awry…its all nothing. It is hell.

So please stop telling people that they can get over whatever it is that they’re going thru. Truth is…you have no earthly idea what they are dealing with and have absolutely no right to judge them or dictate on how they are living. It is not your illness so leave it alone. Leave them be. Leave your nasty little comments at the door. I mean if you’re going to be a supporter that is perfectly fine. We love having people around us who understand and support us. Encourages us. But when you encourage one day and nit pick the next…you’re not helping…you’re hurting…


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Anxiety can be a battle, but you don't have to go it alone. Plus I like to cook, take photographs and review shows

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