Fighting a mental disease can be one of the hardest things that you could ever do. It is an invisible demon who sits there and tells you how much of a failure you really are. How much better the world will be without you. Or how you can never do anything right.
It is waking up feeling like the world is weighing you down….fighting all day long and then getting ready for bed feeling overwhelmingly exhausted. like you’re not worth anything. Like you did accomplished nothing that day. It is the worst possible feeling you could ever imagine. Some days… I sit in a shower with water as hot as I can stand it and just weep. silently. because if I draw attention to myself its another battle….My family is very supportive and understanding. But that doesn’t mean that I need them to know every single time that my head is winning.
So…Some days.. I just need to be loved a little louder… That is one thing that I need my support team to understand. I don’t need them to fight my battles. I don’t need them to even completely understand what I am going thru. I just need them to love me….and the days where my head is screaming at me… I need them to love me just a little louder. Kind of like reassuring someone. Just let me know you’re there. That I am not alone. That I have support. It can honestly go a long way.