Champion by Fall Out Boy

So yesterday I wrote about being completely scared to go to the Fall Out Boy concert. Well… I did it…. score one for me.. right? maybe. I have been dealing with anxiety, depression and whatever else you want to call it for 10+ years and only 1 of those years was I medicated. So I have gotten very good at hiding it. I have gotten good  at ‘acting’ normal.  There were many times last night where my anxiety wanted to poke its ugly little head out. But I focused on Pete Wentz throughout the whole show and it kind of calmed me down….and honestly I am not sure why.. When the loud pyro went of…which would normally remind me of the car accident… I watched Pete unapologetic rocking out and not caring who watched him. And in the name of Pete Wentz… I jumped, I danced, I rocked and I screamed in the name and love of Fall Out Boy louder than I have ever done at any concert… So Thank you Pete Wentz for coming up on the left side of stage where I so happened to be so that you could be my focus on the show and help me stay out of my anxiety ridden head even if it was only for a few hours.

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So with that being said.. here is a song that I didn’t think I needed til I was hearing it LIVE… now don’t get me wrong… I have loved this song since it came out…but… somehow being there…hearing it loud…live…sung by the band and so many other fans who are probably just like me….gave the song so much more meaning.

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Champion, champion

I’m calling you from the future
To let you know we made a mistake
And there’s a fog from the past
That’s giving me, giving me such a headache

And I’m back with a madness
I’m a champion of the people who don’t believe in champions
I got nothing but dreams inside
I got nothing but dreams

I’m just young enough to still believe, still believe
But young enough not to know what to believe in
Young enough not to know what to believe in, yeah

If this isn’t the truth. Like I am still young enough to believe in things but possibly too broken to believe in things…I guess that because I’m young I might not know what to believe in.

If I can live through this
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
I can do anything
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
I can do anything

This is the part that I sung out with all my heart and all the air in my lungs. I haven’t had the best childhood.  There are parts that I push so far down… I don’t like to talk about it because everyone either judges or provide fake sympathy… and I don’t want it. It happened. Do I wish it didn’t? Hell yeah I wish it didn’t…. but I cannot change the abuse that I went thru any more than I can change the color of the sun. So If I can live thru this… thru all the hell that I have endured… all the emotional rollercoasters…. I can live through anything….I can do anything… I am a CHAMPION….

Champion, champion
Champion, champion

I got rage every day, on the inside
The only thing I do is sit around and kill time
I’m trying to blow out the pilot light, I’m trying to blow out the light

I’m just young enough to still believe, still believe
But young enough not to know what to believe in
Young enough not to know what to believe

If I can live through this
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
I can do anything
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
I can do anything

Champion, champion
I can do anything
Champion, champion
And I can do anything
Champion, champion
And I can do anything
Champion, champion
I can do anything

If I can live through this
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
I can do anything
(I can do anything I can)
If I can live through this
(Can do anything, anything, yeah)
If I can live through this
If I can live through this
If I can live through this,
If I can live through, live through this

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Categories: anxiety

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