Ok so my inner middle school slash high school I’m so emo self was pretty excited three months ago when I got fall out boy tickets. I mean who didn’t have a crush on Pete Wentz?
As time has grown closer and closer I realize this concert scares the shit out of me. Like literally. I’m terrified of going.
Let me tell you why.
Every concert I have ever been to has either been with one of my brothers (older protective brothers) or my amazingly understanding and supportive husband. Even going to wrestling events I went with my mom or my husband.
This concert is the first concert that I will be going to with just my friend. She has anxiety also. So she is one of my friends that I can talk to without being judged. But shes not my brother or my husband.
I’ve also never driven to the city its in without my husband. Being in a horrible accident a few years ago makes going to these big cities….scary.
Then we got to add the fact that I am going to be surrounded by people I dont know….tonight is a big test on how well I can handle my anxiety….
You see….I want to do things like this and I usually force myself to do it. This makes my 7th concert. And about 7 wwe events….going to 2 more this month as well. However… After forcing myself to do these type of things… I’m usually dead the next day. As in I don’t want to leave my house to socialize with anyone.
Now I’m not a bad parent and the idea that having a mental illness means youre a bad parent usually pisses me off. When I say I’m dead the next day it means that I am going to sit in my living room watching paw patrol playing tea party with my girls.
So….wish me luck tonight guys because I’m leaving for the show in about an hour….. (In thru the nose out thru the mouth….breathe breathe…)