#anxiety it is my demon
So… Anyone else deal with anxiety?
Anxiety that is so bad, you find yourself canceling plans because you’re busy! Busy doing what? While most call us lazy. Call us paranoid. Call us cry babys. I call us strong.
We are strong. Having anxiety, depression or any other mental illness is not for the lighthearted. Being able to have these demons and act like everything is okay on the outside…that mu friends takes a hell of a lot of strength.
So sometimes my ‘busy’ is having to calm myself down. My ‘busy’ might be fighting a war in my head. Should I be sorry for being ‘busy’? No! I won’t. I will never be sorry for fighting my battle.
It’s bad enough that I already apologize for things I probably shouldn’t. I’m not going to apologize my anxiety. Society already makes us believe like we have to hide all of our imperfections. Which is crap. Yeah thats right. You heard me. Society is crap. I have severe anxiety disorder and I don’t apologize for having it, and neither should you.
It’s stressful trying to explain to someone why my head makes things more difficult than it should be. Add in society telling us its not normal to have these type of thoughts and you end up with me hiding all of my imperfections for the past ten years. Me pretending everything is okay. Me running to the bathroom just to have a second to try to control my breathing, my heart rate. And why? Why should we have to hide?
I know being alone helps us calm down. I do it all the time. I like my space. I am not a big touchy person. However, we shouldn’t have to hide the fact that we have an illness. This only hinders the help that is out there. Society telling us we’re not normal makes us (or at least me) feel like we can’t get help without being ridiculed. So much stress
It has literally taken me years to perfect my face so that my anxiety doesn’t shine thru. Hell. Half the time it doesn’t even work. I wear my emotions on my tear covered sleeves and that just makes me a little more anxious.
Thank for listening to my rant! Share any of your stories below in the comment area or just say hey. You never have to feel ashamed here.